


Every Time You've Stirred My Heart

by AkisMusicBox



Category: Skip Beat!
Genre: A love confession in the rain, Dating, Don't copy to another site, F/M, First Time, Kyoko is Eighteen Years Old, Love Confessions, Ren just gets fed up and finally says how he feels, Sexual Experimentation
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-24
Updated: 2020-04-22
Packaged: 2020-07-18 00:47:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 22
Words: 39,842
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19965955
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AkisMusicBox/pseuds/AkisMusicBox
Summary: Kyoko and Ren finally confess their love for each other. Now, Kyoko has to navigate what it means to date Japan's Most Eligible Bachelor while also handling feelings she never thought she'd act on!





	1. Of Course It's In the Rain

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [She Pressed Play](https://archiveofourown.org/works/20765879) by [AkisMusicBox](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AkisMusicBox/pseuds/AkisMusicBox). 



The pouring rain was chilling him to the bone, but Ren Tsuruga couldn't go inside yet, not until Kyoko Mogami consented to go with him. They had been in the middle of a play again, attempting to flesh out one of Kyoko's character, when he had slipped. His character was supposed to tease and tempt her, but nowhere in the whole script did he kiss her. But Ren did, and Kyoko ran. _My phone is already ruined, so there's no point returning until she comes to._

"Please, Mogami, you're going to get sick before you make it to the bus stop. It was an accident, I swear."

Kyoko shook her head, shivering and clutching her bag. "You don't have accidents like that! You're a playboy and you always know what you're doing. You were _toying_ with me!"

 _If only that were true, but did the truth matter?_ He had kissed her, and she was terrified. _Of course she was._ How many times had he tried to scare her, tried to drive her away, tried anything in his power to keep her away? And how could he expect the other times when he tried to hold her close to not be tainted by that? His body started to shake with laughter.

"Wha-what's so funny?!" she yelled, teeth chattering.

He's ruined two cellphones because of this girl - how could that not be hilarious? He's ruined his peace of mind. He's ruined his home because it always felt empty when she wasn't there. He's ruined his ability to enjoy the emptiness and solitude. She ruined the Ren Tsuruga that he fought so hard to become, and he kept coming back and asking for more.

"Of course you don't believe me! Might as well finish me off while you're at it - I'm in love with you, Kyoko Mogami! I only realized it when I found Katsuki, and I've made it my mission since then to make it as confusing as possible for you to understand. To make sure you never can fully trust me if I try to tell you the truth. So, even if I slip up like I did, I can always keep you away. I'm a professional liar, and I'm so _damn_ good at it I can make you lie to yourself."

Kyoko went pale. She'd be frozen if she wasn't shivering from the cold. "Look at you!" he hollered, a crack of thunder giving him energy. "Even if I pulled you into me right now and confessed every time you've stirred my heart, you'd shove me away and call me a liar. And I still crave it!"

"Why...why would you say that?"

His madness started to subside. "Because as much as I want to not love you, I do. As much as it'd be easier for you to run away, I want you to be safe and warm. And the only way I can ensure that is if you come inside to torture me some more. I love you, Kyo-"

He couldn't finish his sentence because Kyoko barreled into him and wrapped her arms around him. Shocked, he stared at her in disbelief. _Maybe I'm already sick and hallucinating._ The heaving he felt against his chest made him doubt that, though. "Mogami?"

"I love you too," she said to his chest. Reflexively, he wrapped his arms around her, body processing her confession before his mind did. She looked up, and with tears streaming down her face. "I love you too," she croaked.

He scooped her up and ran her inside.


	2. But I Thought I Wasn't Sexy!

Weeks after, they remained Tsuruga and Mogami in public, but Ren and Kyoko in the safety and privacy of his apartment. They were sure that the President and his spies would find out soon enough, but they felt no need to rush that discovery. With the discovery would come the media and the stories ensuing. The most eligible bachelor in Japan was off of the market, and with some no-name hotshot? Or, better yet, the speculation about just how well-acquainted Katsuki and Mio got on the set of Dark Moon. Kyoko even wanted to keep the information hidden from Kotonami as long as possible, because she was struggling with the transition between "LoveMe member #1" to "head-over-heels in love girlfriend". They wanted time to get used to the change.

Now, they could sit right next to each other on the couch. They could cuddle. They could give each other lingering looks. They could touch the other's back or take their hand, and it wasn't taboo. And most importantly, they could kiss. They could, and they did, rather frequently. Kyoko set the pace, as Ren refused to even put his hands on her waist the first time they made out because he wanted her to have absolute control. There were a few times Kyoko pulled away, not because Ren had done something wrong, but because Kyoko was enjoying it _too_ much. When she'd begin to feel an ache deep inside of her, she'd slow them down enough for her to regain control. She didn't know what she would do if she let the feeling consume her, and she refused to explain to Ren what she was feeling because she was almost positive he knew. He knew, but he didn't say anything. She appreciated that.

One time, she opted to sit on his lap and start kissing him. The kisses were nothing special - at least, not in comparison to the countless others they had shared during that time. She decided to kiss the spot where Setsuka had marked Cain so long ago, wriggling a bit to give herself a better angle.

Kyoko knew she wasn't attractive, not by a long shot. She was plain and flat, but she knew that she was capable and a quick learner. Thoughts of his previous relationships would dance wildly in her head, and it'd nearly send her down a dark path, but she'd put the thoughts on hold until she could kiss Ren again. She decided that, as long as she could please him, as long as she could make him feel good, it didn't matter if she was attractive or not. She could make him see the attractive woman that Ren's attention made her feel like - because Ren's kisses and touches made her feel desirable. She could convince herself, in those moments, that she was worthy of standing by him. She was a professional liar too, so she could give him a show he'd believe.

That idea was thrown into chaos when she was moving to kiss the spot and he pushed her away. Gently, almost imperceptibly, but his hands were on her shoulders, so she looked up.

"I don't think you want to do that," he said with a pleading look in his eye. He continued before her mind could spiral to what terrible things that could mean. "When we were Setsuka and Cain, I could control my...reactions fairly well because there were very firm rules in place. Those types of rules aren't in place here, and the ones between us keep dissolving and changing. I...I don't want you to feel a reaction that you aren't comfortable with." He put a hand on her knee for emphasis, to remind her of just exactly where she was sitting.

"Oh!" she squeaked. "I...maybe you're right. Maybe...just not today."

He smiled and gave her a reassuring kiss on the lips. It lingered just long enough for her to chain it into another one, and another one after that. Her mind was spinning as they did.

_But I thought I wasn't sexy!_ she screamed in her mind. _Who is more likely to lie in this situation, Kyoko?_ one of her grudges prodded. _Ren, or Shotaro?_

_Shotaro!_ she swore. Ren was arguably the sexiest man in the country - he could have a pick of whoever he wanted to date. He was sexy, therefore he must know sexy. _And...he makes me feel that way too. Could he possibly be showing me what I really am?_ It was fairly easy to believe that as heat rose inside of her. _I arouse him,_ she finally managed to say to herself. _It's not just my acting. It's not just my execution. My body itself is appealing to Ren Tsuruga._

In that moment, Kyoko wanted to arouse him. She wanted to make him have a reaction that he couldn't control, didn't want to control. She wanted to feel him press against her in a primal longing. These revelations made her delirious, and she sank deeper into his chest. He wrapped his arms around her and slowed the pace of their kissing until it was just their foreheads touching. His eyes were closed and a blissful smile crossed his face.


	3. Can't We Skip This Part?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No skipping this part, unless you don't care about plot rationale! Don't worry, the next chapter will be cuter.

_"My angel_

_Please haunt me_

_Just once moooorrreee"_

_What was Shotaro thinking?_ Kyoko groaned to herself throughout the day. The song was off of his new album, and it gained quick popularity for reasons she couldn't fathom. _It's doesn't fit his style at all! It's a soppy love song that anyone could have produced. You're going to make it way too easy for me to surpass you at this rate._

The song followed her along her commute, to a commercial, and then to Kimagure Rock.

_"Clipped my own wings_

_When I sent you away_

_And only now I know I'm falling"_

It made her want to vomit as her grudges threatened to take over. However, Kyoko had been working on a new technique to keep her anger from taking control - visualization. When she felt the bile rise inside of her, she transported herself to a place where she was in control, safe, and relaxed - Ren's lap. Normally, it soothed her, but if she jumped into the memory at the wrong moment, she'd feel a lurch inside of her and remember the thrill of his warning. The slight element of danger of the memory incentivized her to keep coming back to it. In that headspace, she was impervious to Shotaro's aural assault.

After she put the chicken suit away, she went back to the LoveMe room to find some fresh clothes, and hopefully Kanae. _Any room where Moko is wouldn't be playing that terrible song. She'll agree with me about just how bad it is!_

When Kyoko entered, however, Kanae stared at her as if she was a wild animal. Holding her hands up in entreaty, she started, "Kyoko...before you do anything, just think rationally. We can make this work for you."

Kyoko's stomach dropped. _Oh no! She found out about me and Ren, the paparazzi got us! Stupid, stupid, why have I waited so long?!_ She moved to assumed her lowest dogeza when Kanae snarled. "We'll make Fuwa regret it, I promise! Just remain calm -"

"Huh?" Kyoko asked, startled. "You heard it?"

Kanae nodded slowly, as if not wanting to startle her. "It's everywhere! It's terrible, and it's a really low blow -"

"He can do so much better, it's almost insulting!" Kyoko said, finding her fire. "It's like he doesn't even think he has to try hard to beat me, but at this rate -"

Kanae's eyebrow twitched. "Beat you? He's not trying to beat you with that song, he's - oh, come on! You don't get it, do you? Have you listened to the lyrics?!" Kanae clenched her fists.

Kyoko flinched. "Of course! It's just lazy cause he used the angel and demon imagery for 'Prisoner', but he thinks he can milk it for something else."

Kane pulled a notebook out of her backpack and started reading. _"We were meant to be / But I couldn't see / Blinded by fame / But you were the only real light / The rest is incandescent pain_. Isn't that obvious enough who he's talking about?"

Kyoko laughed. "How could I know who he's dating now? I don't keep up with gossip - " The notebook hurtled past Kyoko's head and smashed into the wall.

"You, you dolt! He's talking about you!" Her face was beet red. "You're eighteen now, and a rising star, so he's using his album release to stake a claim on you! It's his chance to spin the narrative of your past together - you can't call him a manipulative asshole if he frames himself as a contrite, regretful asshole, because that makes you a bitch!"

Kyoko's insides began to chill. "But - but he never names me! Who could possibly figure it out?"

Kanae rolled her eyes at her slowness. " _My angel / please kill me / once more_. Who really needs more than that after watching the PV?"

Kyoko's hands balled into fists as her grudges rose within her. "What an absolute jerk! Finding any last way to use me for his advantage!" She tried to transport herself back to her safe place, to a pair of strong arms and a warm chest and - Ren. _Oh, no. Oh, no, ohnonononono!_

Kyoko fell on the bench in a heap. "I...oh...Moko, he's going to kill him! Not that he doesn't deserve it, but -"

"What are you babbling about? Why aren't you royally pissed!?"

Kyoko flushed impossibly crimson. "I...oh Moko, I'm sorry!" She threw herself on the ground. "I have to confess a terrible sin." Eyes fixed on the tile, she stammered. "I...I mean Tsuruga -"

Kanae inhaled sharply. "How long. How long have you and Tsuruga been dating and you haven't told me about it?"

"Nearly a...month," she admitted. When no sharp rebuke came, she peeked up slightly. Kanae's face was buried in her hand and she was shaking in silent anger. Kyoko braced herself for the official dissolution of their friendship. How could she ever forgive such a betrayal?

Finally, Kanae lowered her hand. "At least now, you'll stop making googly eyes at each other. I can't take all this 'will they, won't they' angsty crap anymore!"

Kyoko rose to her feet. "Moko-san! You're the best friend anyone could ever ask for! I will work for the rest of my life to earn the right to deserve your friendship-" She scooted closer to Kanae to hug her.

"Gah, stop!" She put her hands up and waved her away. "Never ask me for relationship advice, got it? I've dealt with enough of your and his drama already!"

Kyoko lunged to hug her. "Let me love you!"

A soft tap at the door disrupted them. "Ladies?"

"Come in, Yashiro-san!" Kanae said as she shoved Kyoko away.

The manager entered, barely able to contain a wolfish grin. "Kyoko-chan? The President would like to see you in his office, to discuss a certain album release."

Kyoko withered. Of course! He's a bloodhound for this kind of stuff.

Kanae smirked. "It's strange to see you alone. Where's Tsuruga-san?"

He almost laughed. "Already waiting in Takarada's office!"

Kyoko bolted out of the door.

* * *

Kyoko burst through the president's door with a wild look in her eye. Ren's rage began to simmer. _Of course she heard it. The absolute bastard will regret -_

"Mogami-kun!" Lory Takarada chimed with a raise of his arms, a shepherd's staff in one hand. Ren struggled to recall what Bible story seemed to inspire his attire, but he was confident that his robes were made from finer materials than anyone of that time period could have afforded. _The earrings don't help that effect, either._

"Please, sit!" he said, gesturing to the couch Ren was on. She took an uneasy seat within an easy reach of him, seemingly unintentionally. _Has...has she grown so comfortable with me that she's forgotten the facade?_ It made a lump form in his throat. _God, you're hopeless, Tsuruga. Thrilled by a girl sitting next to you in a bright-pink jumpsuit._

"You're rather popular, nowadays, Mogami," Takarada goaded, a gleam in his eye.

She stared at the floor. "I am so sorry! If I had any idea that he still had schemes to use me, I would have done everything possible to stop it! I haven't spoken to him in months when he showed up at the restaurant and - " The second half of her statement seemed to be more directed to Ren than the president.

Uninterested in her apology, the president's eyes shifted to Ren in challenge. "Your thoughts, Ren? Is he really in love with her?" Kyoko was still focused on the carpet, so she couldn't see how much Takarada was enjoying torturing him. Ren didn't appreciate it.

"If he was really in love with her, he'd have actually made efforts to release it on her birthday, not months after the fact." He could see Kyoko's ears start to turn pink.

The president took his seat and leaned back. "Ah, yes. A truly romantic gestured would have been - well, remind me, Ren? What did you do for her birthday?" Both men watched her ears shift to bright red, and glimpses of red cheeks peaked through the veil of her hair.

"Can't we skip this part? Kyoko's cleary - " He froze.

_Kyoko. Not Mogami._

_I didn't think that would have been my undoing._

That was all it took for Kyoko to sit upright, still as she could muster. They were trapped, and the moment they moved, the lion of a man sitting across from them would pounce.

Takarada began to laugh, a toothy, boisterous boom. "Finally!" he cried to the ceiling. He started pounding the desk and rocking back and forth like a child. It was long enough for Kyoko to regain her composure, and Ren to determine that he had been aware of the two of them for quite some time, but waiting for them to out themselves. By the time he was done laughing, Ren was equally annoyed at himself and the president. Kyoko was confused.

Takarada yanked a handkerchief out of a hidden pocket in his robes and wiped away a few tears. "The anticipation has been killing me! A valiant effort by both of you, but I was a week away from confronting you. Fortunately, the fates have aligned!"

"Fortunately?!" Kyoko burst. "How could anything about Shotaro creeping back up be fortunate?"

Ren was too angry to determine Takarada's meaning, so he let the president explain. "Framing," he said simply and gestured to Ruto to bring him a drink. "Fuwa has framed himself as the boy who foolishly let you get away but is a man now who has learned from his mistakes. He finally knows what he's missing."

Kyoko's face fell. "And if I don't go back to him, I'm an unforgiving bitch."

Ren sneered at the term. _Go back to her abuser? What kind of fucked-up -_

"Or," Takarada said, accepting the drink with an all-knowing grin. "We show the world what he is missing, and that someone else didn't make the same mistake as him."

Kyoko gasped. "You...know? And want us to go public?"

Something dangerously like the thrill of revenge surged through Ren. The impulsive, rain-drenched part of him that broke down and confessed to Kyoko surged it's head up, urging him to say _Yes!_ "Wouldn't that throw the P.R. department into chaos?" he said, raising a questioning eyebrow. He understood that a decent portion of the Japanese population considered him public property, and he'd be happy to dispel that notion, but others would be affected as well. His knee brushed Kyoko's. She didn't pull away.

"I have been preparing for this for an eternity!" Takarada said with manic glee. "My best publicist has been working on talking points since you were both cast in 'Dark Moon'."

Kyoko flinched while Ren buried his face in a hand. "That's terrifying, sir. We are not one of your dating simulation games." _We_. Ren swore at himself. _Maybe it's for the best. I'm clearly not cut out for holding secrets anymore._

"We can't!" Kyoko burst. "I'm not good enough to be seen by Ren's side, the public will be furious! I'm a nobody who got lucky to get cast as Mio, that's it!"

Ren was ready this time - _I won't let public opinion sway our behavior_ \- but the president cut in again.

"'The actress who got the role of Mio, and single-handedly set the tone for the revolutionary adaptation'," Takarada smirked. "So Ogata will be quoted as saying. The actress who 'transformed the role of Natsu and rekindled my love of acting', Amamiya will say. The girl with the fire and passion to perform a tea ceremony on a broken ankle to get the best performance possible out of Ren's costar. You're a muse who talks the talk and walks the walk. You inspire those around you with your energy. And Ren Tsuruga was by your side this whole time, watching you blossom. He saw you, and unlike Fuwa, he couldn't look away."

The look the president was giving him was supposed to agitate him, but he was too lost in the memories of finding Katsuki. She had saved him from utter failure and unlocked a side of him he thought had long died. "'She was haunting when we finally found her, reading in the hallways stairs. He chestnut hair dyed black, and that scar a testament to something deep within her, aching to get out. I truly feared for her safety, but when I reached out for Mogami, only Mio remained'," he recounted in a reverent tone. "Something like that?"

Kyoko looked at him in shock. Takarada gestured wildly. "That! That's it! Stories like that explain exactly why you caught his eye. You earned it through passion for what you do. " He took a more serious tone. "We will do everything in our power to contain the details of exactly how Fuwa treated you. A lot of that information would prove fatal for Fuwa, so it's unlikely his camp would attempt to explain too much behind it. Just that you were once, and not anymore. We're doubling down on the narrative that he's an idiot for missing out on you. Sound acceptable?"

A smile threatened to peek from her at the word 'idiot', but she was still concerned. She looked at Ren. "Are you...sure? Is this right for you? You can't risk your career over trying to preserve my reputation."

"I am. It would be nice to have fewer secrets, for once." Takarada snorted, but Ren continued. "And I won't abide by Fuwa's attempts. Especially with a song that bad."

"It's terrible!" she said, throwing her hands in the air. Wild optimism snuck in her eyes, and she almost laughed. "I...I already slipped up to Moko, so at least she won't kill me on sight."

"Yashiro will be angry for a couple of hours, but the smugness will overtake him. We'll survive," he smiled.

"What about LoveMe?" Kyoko asked Takarada with worry. "Does...does this mean I'm out of the program?"

He had to hand his glass back to Ruto to keep from spilling, as he rolled in laughter once again. "You kids are hilarious! You're kidding me, right?!" He hooted and hollered, banging the end of his staff on the ground. "Saying 'I love you' and being in a relationship are only the top of the glacier that is actually being in romantic love. You are so far from knowing the truth of it it's hilarious!" He wiped tears away from his eyes once again.

"What is that supposed to mean?" Ren asked tersely.

His tone dropped again. "You two only know the sparks and heat of loving and not being loved back. Of the anticipation of the situation. But truly being together takes work. It takes learning about the past," he eyed Ren accusingly. "And trust in yourself and the one you love," he shifted the look to Kyoko, "to be able to stay together. You'll never know everything about the other, but you have to trust that you'll be able to overcome everything together."

Ren's heart sank. Everything had been so nice before when they could finally just be alone. The world didn't exist, his past didn't exist, only her. He could just enjoy the sparkle of her eyes and the music of her laugh and the curve of her back, and soon that would be gone.

Kyoko was watching him with doe-eyes. "Cain had to come from somewhere. I don't know the shape of that pain, but I know how deep it runs." She gave the president a look of challenge. "I didn't run then. I won't now."

"Kyoko, you don't know what you're signing up for, you - "

"Neither do you!" she snapped at Ren. "But, we've known each other for how long now, and still somehow we haven't gotten rid of each other? That means something!" Her tone softened. "I wouldn't be where I am now without you, pushing me. That was...appalling to me before until I realized we push each other. To become better. I can't lose that."

A weight of words unsaid hung over the room. He rested a hand on her back. "What about Kyoko's home?" he asked. "The Taisho and Okami might be assaulted by paparazzi if someone does the right research."

"I have someone already drafting up statements for them, good blanket comments that confirm or deny nothing, as well as information on their legal rights in reference to people who may approach the premise. And if things truly get too hectic, Kyoko has stayed at your place before..."

Kyoko's face drained of blood.

"Temporarily! A few days tops." Takarada said, waving his hands. "So, is that it? Do you both consent to take your relationship public?"

"I do," Kyoko said, flinching when she actually heard the words out loud.

Ren sighed. "You phrased it that way to intentionally sound like a wedding."

Lory just flashed him another toothy grin. "Do you consent?"

"I do."

He jumped out of his seat. "Excellent! Congratulations, congratulations, I have been waiting for this! Now, Miss Woods is waiting for both of you in the dressing room, and your reservation tonight is at eight - "

"What?" Ren asked, almost dizzy.

"Isn't that how these things always go?" Lory said. "Caught, out in public, with the audacity to have a romantic dinner? I can almost picture the photographs in my head already!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I AM NOT A SONG WRITER, I AM SORRY!


	4. Sometimes, It's An Escape

Ren didn't know how, but he somehow he needed to repay Miss Woods for the way she dressed Kyoko. With that dress and the way her hair was styled, no one could doubt that she was a grown woman.

During their meal, he was positive that some of the cameras pointed at them were the president's own, but Kyoko spotted a more overt photographer and spared him a sweet, demure style. The pageantry of it all should have bothered him more, but instead, it sent a thrill through him. Kyoko was happy to be seen with him and okay with letting the world know that he was hers.

They shook their tails and snuck back to his apartment, Kyoko giggling as he held her hand and they ran from the car up the stairs. It all felt surreal - that, at any moment, something would shatter and it would all be a play. He would do something that would scare her away. The world didn't come back into proper focus until she shut his apartment door behind them.

She leaned against the door and started laughing to herself. "What's the problem?" he asked hesitantly.

"I...I keep expecting someone to yell 'cut'. I only...I only get to let myself believe amazing things like this when I'm on set." She looked around the apartment. "But it can't be. This place is too real to me now."

A surge went through him at that. She winced and hobbled her way to the couch. "These shoes are a killer!"

"Take them off," he said, his mouth going dry. "Do - would you like some tea?"

She gave him a grateful smile. "Please."

As he boiled water, he stole a chance to watch her lift her leg and pry off the heels. The pink dress slid up her calves in a way that should not have been as alluring as it was.

He snatched a whiskey glass out of the cabinet and poured himself some to steady his nerves. He tried to convince himself that steeping tea leaves was extremely interesting. When the tea was brewed, he returned to the couch to find her legs stretched out on the couch. She pulled her legs into herself to make room for him while accepting her cup. On impulse, he reached out and touched her feet, guiding her legs to stretch out over his lap. She froze.

"I...want you to be comfortable," he said, the words thick in his mouth. "I'd throw those shoes out the window if I wouldn't owe a very awkward explanation to Miss Woods later."

Kyoko chuckled and relaxed. "Don't do that unless I'm around - it'd be fairly entertaining!" He rested his empty hand on her ankle and watched as she sipped her tea. His thumb brushed over a red mark that the shoes had left on her foot. He continued to stroke it gently, watching as her expression grew softer around the eyes at the contact.

Another impulse jumped out at him, and he asked, "Do you want to try?" He offered her his glass with a smirk.

She made a face. "I've had sake before; I'm not clueless about alcohol."

"This does not taste like sake. Humor me?"

She rolled her eyes and took a sip of the whiskey. Almost instantly, she coughed. "Ugh! Why? Why would you drink that? You choose to drink that!" She handed him the glass back.

He chuckled. "It's an acquired taste. Not uncommon to run into a scene where my character has to drink it, so I worked hard at acquiring it."

She reached a foot out and poked his stomach. "But it's never real alcohol on set!"

Drunk more on Kyoko's physical teasing than the liquor, he grabbed her foot and squeezed. "Not always! When I was nineteen, I shot a film in Russia, and every drink in it was real."

She tried to push her trapped foot again. "How?! Why? I don't know if I believe you!"

He squeezed the foot again and noticed her eyes drift half-closed at the pressure. _It must feel good._ His thumb found her instep and started to massage the length of it. "It's not a popular film, so finding a copy is a little more difficult, but when I do, I'll show you. There's a scene that made it in where I was definitely drunk."

She sunk further into the couch and attempted to tease some more. "I don't know if Ren Tsuruga gets drunk. If you can control your sweat, I'd believe you can control your intoxication level, too." Her voice lost it's edge as he kneaded the sole of her foot.

"That took a lot of practice, too," he acknowledged. "But, I'm not a robot. Sometimes, it's an escape." He eyed the copies of Tsukigomori on his shelf, and a wave of old despair tried to creep upon him, so he tore his gaze from that and back to Kyoko. She had set her tea on the coffee table and closed her eyes.

He followed suit and put his glass down, exchanging it for her other foot. As he rubbed them both, his eyes kept going to her dress, now hiked to her knees, and to her contented expression. Her breath staggered depending on which way he massaged her. He tried his hardest to avoid watching her chest as it almost felt voyeuristic, but was it? _Now that the world would soon know she's my...girlfriend?_ The intensity of his rubbing must have increased because the smallest moan escaped Kyoko's lips. _"Ngh..."_

Heat coiled in his gut for a moment and dissipated in the next as Kyoko's eyes bolted open. He stopped his massage and watched her carefully. Echos of the sensation still made him tingle as he realized something similar must had overtaken Kyoko, and every fiber of him ached to keep her in that state, but the confusion in her eyes brought him back to his senses. "Sorry," she squeaked, fighting all temptation to flee.

He could have laughed, but instead, he stroked her instep once more. "Feedback is always good," he said casually. "I just want to make sure you feel comfortable."

"I...am," she said and reached up to remove her necklace, placing it on the coffee table. The earrings followed next. Ren took a moment to undo his tie and unbutton his top two buttons. Kyoko seemed interested in watching that process, so he then proceeded to unbutton his sleeves and roll them to his elbow. Once that was completed, his hand found her ankle, and a series of strokes convinced her to sink back into the couch.


	5. Ren Tsuruga Looks Really Good in Eyeliner

Kyoko was starting to regret returning home last evening. She was scheduled to work, but considering the circumstances, she now realized the Taisho and Okami would have been amenable to her taking the day off. As it was, they didn't risk her being in the front of the restaurant, opting for her to work in the back, cleaning and restocking. It left plenty of time for her mind to wander.

She should have been thinking about the dinner they had shared - because hadn't she gotten to experience what every person in Japan with a pulse was dying for? A romantic dinner with Ren Tsuruga? Instead, she was fixated on their time on the couch. He rubbed her feet, and they joked, and they laughed, and then she made that _ungodly_ sound that somehow didn't make Ren flinch. _He almost seemed pleased about it, actually._

Because Ren wasn't the one who was prone to run - she was. She was the one who had shoved him away and doubted him countless times. _No wonder he hasn't trusted me with the truth about his past. Or even his real name._ She had known for a long time that Ren Tsuruga had to be a stage name, but after all this time, she still didn't know the real one. _For all I know, that's not even his real hair color. How would a pure-blooded Japanese man be that tall, anyway?_

Was she truly that untrustworthy? And what had he suffered to get to this position, where he had to bury his pain this deep? Suddenly, everything inside of her ached to go find him. _But, he's working...what do normal girls do when they miss someone they love?_ She chewed on her thumb as she tried to remember some of the shows Okami would watch on TV occasionally. _Wait...a selfie! I can send him a picture!_ It felt abysmally shallow, but she was abysmally bored. She tried several poses before settling for peeking up behind a stack of boxes. She captioned it, "Staying Vigilant in the Storage Room" and sent it before she could regret it. The goofiness kept her from fixating on the fact that Kyoko had never known that feet could be such a source of relaxation. _And if Ren had slid his hand up further...no!_

When she made that lewd noise, two pieces had been fighting within her - one that demanded control back, and the other begging him to _not stop_. She had fought it countless times during their month of secrecy and was eternally grateful for his immediate obedience when the controlling piece of her took over, but it left her aching every time.

_Why?_ was the recurring question she asked herself when the situation arose again and again. _Do I really have to stop myself?_ Her grudges within her screamed _Yes!_ and _Are you insane?!_ and _Never trust men!_ She tried to shake the thoughts, as those were clearly what Takarada had been referring to. _He's stolen kisses before_ one of them hissed. _Who knows what else he'll steal?_ While racking her brain for every occurrence, her phone buzzed. She opened the message before she realized it was a reply. From _Ren_.

Her heart leaped to her throat as she opened the message. A close-up of his face, with a similarly alert expression was depicted, his eyes covered in dark eyeliner. "It's Quiet...Too Quiet," was his caption.

Her brain short-circuited. _Ren Tsuruga sent a goofy selfie back to me._ Then, her mind shifted to _Can you steal what's freely given?_

The locks on her heart had lone been undone, but this picture screamed in her mind a violent note that shattered the metal. Everything about this yelled _unsafe!_

_Ren Tsuruga looks really good in eyeliner._ The surge through her calmed her mind.

* * *

When Kanae arrived, the restaurant was fairly slow, so the Okami let Kyoko off early. Kyoko ushered Kanae into her room before asking her, "Okay, what's the damage?"

Kanae reached into her bag and threw a pile of tabloids on the table. "According to print, you're still a mystery woman, but online, they're closing in on an answer. I'd suspect by tomorrow other possibilities will have been eliminated. However, it doesn't seem anyone's drawn the connection between Fuwa and you yet so that at least buys some time."

The top tabloid had a picture of Ren on the cover, so she grabbed it and started flipping. "Oh, Yashiro-san bought all of these for you to keep, as like a memento of the occasion." Kanae was torn between laughing and scowling. "Your first tabloid exposé. Amamiya about had a heart attack when she saw."

"I'll have to apologize to her," she said absentmindedly as she landed on the page - the page with a half-page photo of them at the restaurant. It was from behind her back, so only the excellent work Jelly Woods put into her hair was properly visible on her. Ren, on the other hand, was dashing as always, but the expression in his eye so warm. _And now all of Japan sees it. How he looks at me._

She tore open the other tabloids and found their pictures as well - different angles, different levels of flattering expressions on her, but all the same warmth from Ren. It made her feel lightheaded.

"Kyoko!" Kanae yelled, and Kyoko snapped to attention. "President Takarada knows about this right? This could cause major havoc for the agency." Kyoko nodded and summarized the plan that the president had laid out last night, including her remaining in LoveMe. "That man's mind is terrifying sometimes," Kanae sighed. "He's having way too much fun with this." Kyoko nodded, distracted.

"Hey...you're happy, right? This is what you want?" Kanae's brow was furrowed in uncharacteristically visible concern.

"Yes," she managed. "But...it doesn't stop the fact that I was the founding member of LoveMe. That I spent so much time ensuring I'd never fall in love again. I failed at that, completely. And Ren...he said he's loved me since Dark Moon. He loved me, and I loved him, and I can't help but wonder...if there was anything I could have done. To keep us both from suffering so much." She found the magazine with the best photograph of him and turned it to Kanae. "He looks so happy there. He could have been that happy before, but I -"

"Oh, stop it," Kanae grumbled. "He was just as much of an idiot as you. He had just as much ability to just tell you, like an adult, that he loved you. And maybe, you two having to go through all of this crap will make sure you don't throw it all away for stupid reasons."

Her words were a salve for Kyoko. "You're right! All of these trails were just necessary to develop us into the people we are now - it's like character development! It's making us more human, to -"

"Enough!" Kanae snapped. "Ugh, maybe I miss angry Kyoko. Gung-ho lover girl is terrible. We would not have been friends when you were with Fuwa, that's for sure."

Kyoko sneered. "He was really good about driving everyone else away." As she felt the anger bubble in herself again, she grabbed her phone and found the picture he sent.

"What's that? Give it!" Kanae said, snagging the phone.

"Moko- Moko, no, please!" she begged.

Kanae gave her a side look. "You've already had me break my vow to not help you with your relationship, so you owe me." Her eyes went back to the phone. "Oh. God. Selfies? What kind of selfies are these?!"

"That's what normal girls, do, right?" Kyoko asked, tapping her index fingers together as her face grew pink.

"Yeah, like cute poses!" Kanae explained, exasperated. "Not like this _spy_ stuff! What, it's you hiding from paparazzi? There's like seven of them! And Tsuruga responded in kind. _Every time_!" As Kanae paged through the images, the corresponding beeps sent tiny daggers flying into Kyoko. "Though I have to admit, the eyeliner's working for him."

Kyoko nodded, trying to stifle the futile hope that he would wear it back to his apartment. She didn't know how she'd sneak over there, but she was determined to find a way. _Maybe a disguise? Do I have clothes that will make me unrecognizable as the girl in the photos?_

A soft knock at her door interrupted her thoughts. Kyoko answered it, and it took her a moment to recognize it as Ren, because _Ren Tsuruga didn't dress like this!_ He wore a sky blue t-shirt with graffiti art, and light wash jeans with more holes than actual fabric. In one hand, he clutched a pair of white sunglasses and a blonde wig. _He's still wearing the eyeliner though,_ and that made her heart jump to her throat.

She wrapped him in a hug before he could say a word. "That's one hell of a disguise," Kanae teased, with a bit more bite than she'd ever given Ren in the past.

He gave Kyoko a quick squeeze back. "I apologize, Kotonami-san. For a lot of things, but right now...will you excuse us for a moment?"

Kyoko released him and looked to her. Kanae rolled her eyes and said, "I should get going anyway."

"Wait...please," Ren asked, tinged with desperation. He pulled the garish, orange backpack off of his back and fished out his wallet. He offered her some money and asked. "Please, can you wait downstairs? Treat yourself to whatever you want to eat, just...please wait."

Kanae's eyes narrowed. "Do not hurt her. I will not be liable for what happens if you do." She ripped the money from his hand and stormed out, slamming the door behind her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dun, dun, duuuun!
> 
> Also, I have no idea why I picked the title of this chapter! I'm just pretty sure it's a true statement *shrugs*


	6. I'm Bo the Chicken

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You already know what this chapter's about now xD

"Ren?" Kyoko asked as he sighed, a resignation that seemed to deflate him.

He slumped to the ground and said, "I wanted her to be available in case you end up hating me after I tell you what I have to say. I don't want you to be alone." The hand holding the wig clenched.

She sat across from him, folding her legs and watching him intently. The tone of his voice made her stomach turn but showing discomfort that was unacceptable. "Just tell me. I won't get angry."

He chuckled sardonically to himself. "I don't know how you couldn't."

That stung her. She clenched her fists. "Please, tell me what's wrong," she pushed.

Still avoiding her eyes, he managed, "My parents are coming to Japan. They want to officially meet my girlfriend."

She nodded, shoving down the butterflies flapping in her stomach. "And?"

His empty hand grabbed his outstretched leg and he squeezed. "You've already met my father."

Kyoko's stomach dropped, but she knew it would land on a singular conclusion. "Kuu Hizuri," she whispered. _They looked similar, but he was blonde. That's why I never...I just thought Ren looking similar was just good casting for Dark Moon._

Ren finally looked up, his dark eyes watching her, waiting for her to tear him to shreds.

Panic tried to rip her in several directions, but instead, she focused inward and tried to piece together what that all meant. "Your father played the original Katsuki."

He nodded, eyes still full of fear.

_"Whys"_ started to flood her mind, but she couldn't let herself get distracted. "Your father had me play you."

Ren nodded and swallowed.

"Your name is Kuon Hizuri."

He winced.

She wanted to go to him, to promise him that everything would be okay, but it felt like the _old_ Kyoko coming out. The one she thought burned up after Sho betrayed her. The Kyoko who didn't want to see, who didn't care about the truth. _Ren wants me to know. I won't run._

"You abandoned that name and came here. For...some reason..." She forced herself to study him until her eyes landed on the broken watch ever-present on his wrist. "Some reason involving that watch."

He finally let go of the wig and buried his head in his hands. "I abandoned everything about myself to become who I am now. Everything except my memories of you."

_He's a fairy,_ was the only thought that went through her dizzy head.

He managed to sit up and removed a contact case and solution from his backpack. As he did, he explained himself, a man on his way to the gallows. "You were my ideal. You epitomized dedication and hard work and joy." He pulled a contact out, hair obscuring his face. "I became the actor I am today because I didn't want to disappoint my Kyoko-chan." He pinched the other contact out.

"What I'm saying is...fairies aren't real," his voice cracked. He looked up at her. His bright, green eyes, watered as they screamed: " _I'm sorry."_

Her head tilted to the side. In a daze, she said, "That's not true. You are a fairy."

Cautiously, he shook his head. "I'm a despicable liar. I tricked a young, sad girl and I've kept up the facade for how many years?"

It was her turn to shake her head. "You're a fairy. You showed up by the river when I needed you when we were kids. Your stone took my pain away. And then, you appeared again, when I was nothing more than a ball of spite and rage. You showed me what it was to care about what you do. When my mother...I was wandering the streets of Tokyo, and somehow, _you found me again._ "

"I wish I could have been him," he squeaked. "You would have spoken to Corn."

She gave a small chuckle. "I didn't need to speak. Ren Tsuruga was there for me, so nothing could be that bad then."

He furrowed his eyebrows in bewilderment. "But he's a _lie_."

Kyoko shook her head. "I don't think that's true. He may have started out that way, but you made him real. Sounds like a skill a fairy would have."

"Kyoko -"

"Before you came in, I was trying to figure out how I could sneak to your apartment to see you," she continued. "I was trying to plan a disguise. And there you were." It was almost painful how much she smiled.

"I stole a kiss from you under false pretenses in Guam!" he exclaimed. "I lied _so much!"_ His tone said, _"Punish me!"_

"I'm a liar too," she said with a definitive nod. "I'm...I'm Bo the Chicken."

He froze. A few gears clicked into place, and he said. "You had no idea I was talking about being in love with you the whole time. Right?"

"Right," she admitted, some embarrassment leaking through her.

His ensuing laughter was almost sob-like at times, letting up all of the pent-up frustrations and fears he had been suppressing for so long. She eyed the watch, wondering what could be so bad that he'd run away from a loving mother and father, but she didn't have the heart to pursue it. _We'll get there_.

Instead, she crawled over to his side and took the abandoned wig. "This...this is your natural hair color?"

He smeared his eyeliner as he wiped his eye and took a moment to compose himself. "Yes. Yeah, what you saw in Guam was real."

She sat up and started situating the wig on his head, tucking his hair back. "You know, my hair isn't it's real color either," she teased.

"Why aren't you mad at me?" he asked. "Why won't you yell at me for lying?"

"Honestly?" she started, brushing another lock of black hair back into the wig. "It all feels unreal. It's too much to process right now. I'm going to have _so many_ questions, but...what I do know is that none of those lies were meant to hurt me."

He nodded vigorously. "They weren't. I swear. But intention doesn't stop the effects, and you weren't unaffected by any means."

"I don't know if we were ever in a place where we could have been one-hundred percent honest with each other until now," Kyoko said. "We constantly...pushed each other away. I won't do that anymore." She pushed the last lock of hair back and looked at the result. "It suits you," she smiled. "Either suits you."

He leaned over and kissed her, gently, insistently, longingly. Like they had done countless times before, and like that first time on the beach. _He was my first kiss._ That thought helped her cut through the fog in her mind.

When they parted, she asked, "Isn't it really uncomfortable to wear contacts as long as you have to? Your eyes have to be really dry at the end of a long day."

He chuckled, and Kyoko decided she liked the way the light hit his eyes. "You have no idea how many bottles of eye drops I run though when I'm filming a movie."

"Who all knows?"

"The president. Miss Woods dyes my hair, but she doesn't know why besides 'Japanese actors shouldn't be blonde.' Yashiro only knows that I have a complicated past, but nothing specific."

"Your dad already likes me, right? So, I just need to convince your mom?"

He laughed at that. "'Need' is needless pressure. She will love you. She's fairly dramatic and may act out once she realizes how much I love you, but that's her nature. A tinge of jealousy won't hurt her." He wrapped an arm around her and pulled her into his lap. "If they knew what you'd been through with your parents, they'd kidnap you and take you home with them."

She wrapped her arms around him and started kissing him again. As her kisses deepened, she tried to run her hands through his hair, and the wig fell. She pulled away in panic and exclaimed, "Oh no, Moko! She's been waiting this whole time!"

Ren laughed. "You might want to go dismiss her unless you think you'll change your mind and throw me out."

Kyoko shook her head. "No way. I have plans for you, mister, so you stay put!"


	7. I'll Get My Fill

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *ahem* We're earning this "Explicit" rating in this chapter, so if that's not your thing, feel free to abandon this fic now!

They eventually made their way back to Ren's place, her donning all-black clothing and a wide-brimmed hat to contrast with his disguise. She wasn't sure it was effective, per se, but it was _fun._ She could tell he was having fun, as well, as his light smile was clearly the one Corn had in Guam. _Of course, it's him. How could it not be?_

She questioned herself, as to why these reveals felt _okay_ , but the more she played with those pieces in her mind, the more that the fit into how one might puzzle out a character. _If I'd have read him in a script, it'd have been obvious._

Only when they closed the apartment door behind them, she realized she was hungry. She went to digging through his sparse cabinets to find something to cook. "I can just order something, Kyoko-chan," Ren teased from the bathroom as he removed his contacts and eyeliner.

"The delivery person could recognize me!" Kyoko retorted. "Plus, your kitchen is so nice. It's a shame there's barely any food in it."

He entered the kitchen and leaned on the counter. He had changed back into his typical attire, neglecting to button as many buttons as he closed. "It's only a matter of time until the world puts it together. At least, this would be on our terms." A roar of thunder punctuated the statement, and only then did Kyoko see that it was pouring rain outside.

Her palms became sweaty at that, and she nearly dropped the spoon she was stirring with. "That...would be rough on the President, right?"

"Because he's been so _kind_ to our situation?" He rolled his eyes. He crossed to her. "I'm joking, partially. I...however you want to handle this, I don't think I have any right put any demands on you." He brushed a lock of hair from her face.

Gratitude radiated from green eyes, in a way that she'd never seen before. Seeing Kuon this way, seeing _Corn_ that relieved formed a lump in her throat. Her pot started to boil over. She reached over and turned the burner off, face on fire.

Pleasantly surprised at her reaction, he raised his eyebrow suggestively.

Her phone started to buzz on the countertop.

It was a blocked number. She hit the button on the side to silence it.

She turned back to the stove and tried to remember where she had left off. With a smirk, he purred, "All I need for sustenance is your attention, Kyoko. Let me order something for you, and in the meantime, I'll get my fill."

Butterflies flooded her stomach. Her phone buzzed again.

It was his turn to silence it when he noticed the number was from the restaurant. He passed it to her.

"Kyoko-chan?" the Okami asked. "The Fuwa boy's here. He's soaking wet and fuming mad, talking about collecting on a promise."

_That I'd go back to Kyoto and be his servant if I fell in love with Ren._

_What...was I thinking? What is_ he _thinking?_

"I don't want to talk to him," Kyoko said, almost exhausted. "He should realize it's childish to take _that_ idea seriously."

"He seems upset, Kyoko-chan."

Ren's brow was furrowed, and she could see a thousand ideas of what she could be talking about flicking through his mind.

Kyoko heard a grunt on the other end of the phone, and the Okami passed off the phone. "You want him to leave?" the Taisho asked.

"Yes. I'm occupied tonight, so I'm not going to speak to him. I'm not _explaining_ myself to him."

"Consider it handled." The call ended.

Cautiously, Ren watched her. "Shotaro knows," she said simply.

"And?" he asked.

She mulled over exactly how to quantify what she was thinking. All she knew is that everything outside of this apartment, outside of this _kitchen_ was less real than everything around her. "I don't owe him anything."

He scooped her in his arms and kissed her. Fiercely, at first, but then they began to linger to convey how hungry he had been for her to say that. His hands pressed into her back, so she, in turn, looped her arms around his neck and buried a hand in his hair, the other his neck. She felt his breath hitch at the pressure, and that familiar heat coiled deep inside her once again. This time, she leaned into it, pressing her hips against him. Feeling him against her sent a low hum through her body that demanded to be answered. She tugged at his lip, and his fingers clenched the fabric of her shirt desperately, wishing it was flesh.

She pressed herself harder against him, and to her surprise, he stumbled back a step. Their lips parted for a moment, and the sound of his ragged breath sent a surge through her. His hands migrated to her hips, not daring the chance of them parting again.

The hand on his neck slid down as well, finally deciding that it could take advantage of how many buttons he left open. _As if he's been taunting me for so long._ Her fingers felt electric, but he didn't shutter as she had hoped - he leaned in. It was an eventuality, a matter of fact that his chest was meant for her touch. She skimmed the hard planes of his body until she ran into a button. She pried at it.

In an instant, he scooped her up, forehead pressed against hers, and an expression that said: _"Wait, please." "Please,"_ because this wasn't the King of the Night. _"Wait,"_ because this wasn't the impish, impatient Corn. Her weight felt like nothing in his arms, and nothing but the warmth and safety of his body concerned her as he carried her to the couch.

He sat her on his lap, and the way her stomach leaped to her throat when she felt just how much he ached for her almost made her dizzy. It did make her salivate.

A hand guided her mouth to his, and as he pulled them back to their insistent, lingering pace, his other hand found her thigh. She became very conscious in that moment how high her skirt had ridden up. His thumb brushed at the hem, asking the question. She answered by parting her legs, the movement causing his thumb to brush bare skin.

She shivered.

The hand cupped her thigh, and the heat inside her was stoked. She sighed into his mouth.

He pulled away once again, a hair's breadth to say, "You can tell me to stop at any time," he whispered. "I promise." His voice was as soft as his breath against her skin.

"Don't," she managed through the ache that pulsed in her, stemming from the way the contact on her thigh made her burn.

She felt him twitch against her as his hand ran up her thigh. Graceful fingers stroked at her panties, and she started to fall into him, bracing herself against him to maintain their kiss. He started with slow, deliberate strokes along the length that soothed and excited her at the same time.

_This is it. This is what I was running from._

_Did I really hate myself that much?_

She closed her legs around his hand to draw him in further. The way he twitched again sent a delightful thrill through her.

Two fingers pressed against the fabric barrier made her ache. _They should be inside of me_ was what she thought, but all she could do was gasp and collapse fully into his shoulder.

"Kyoko?" he asked, pausing for a moment.

_"Please,"_ would have been the nice thing to say, the way to convey her gratitude towards his efforts, but it failed her. She didn't have time to explain what _please_ meant in this context. She only had time for, "More." It was a groan into the softness of his neck.

He cradled her with one arm to keep her in her resting place. His other fingers wormed their way past her underwear, and she shivered at their touch. Once again, soft, deliberate strokes greeted her, all the more soothing because of her wetness.

A moan escaped her, and he hummed in return, increasing the speed of his strokes. A rogue part of her tried to point out how obscene the moan had been, but it was quickly stifled because _she didn't care._ The only thing she cared about was the tips of his finger brushing against her, knocking at a door they stubbornly refused to enter.

She let the moans into his skin continue to make crystal clear how much she appreciated the effort when she found that one of her hands was digging into his back. _Digging_ her nails into his muscle, so she ventured a glance up to see if he was okay. _Content_ was not an apt term, because it couldn't possibly convey just how welcome the feast was to the starving man. _Pride_ made it sound like a conquest, but she realized just how pleased seeing her agitated and craving pleasure made him.

When he knocked again, she bucked her hips, gently, to urge him on.

"Kyoko..." he whispered. "I don't want to hurt you."

"I need to feel you," she returned.

He inhaled sharply and slipped the first finger in.

The discomfort made her tense at first, a something that she was impatient to rid herself of. He stayed still for the moment, letting her acclimate to the pressure. The pressure morphed into asking, into her starting to rock her own hips. He matched her pace, using his thumb to stroke her clitoris, and letting the crest of each rock bring her a rush that made it easy to move past the tension.

He stroked a second finger along her in warning, and let the tip enter as well. That she winced at, and the hand cradling her stroked her arm deliberately in apology. In defiance, she rocked her hips again and her body jerked at the pain.

"I can stop," he reminded her, voice thick with concern.

"I need you," she insisted.

He glided the fingers in and out patiently as if judging every stroke by how she tensed and relaxed. Pain and pleasure mingled for a time, but pleasure took over shortly, and the way her voice and postured eased again gave him license to reach deeper, to hook his fingers inside of her and called forth a deep ache she didn't know existed.

She cried from deep in her throat, more akin to a shriek, a piece of herself she thought she killed. The waves rose and crashed around her as Ren worked away at her, her only recourse grabbing at any piece of him she could find. He grunted at her squirming, but her mind was exploding, and she buried her face in his shoulder. 

Unclear how he knew, but his pace slowed as her energy waned. The waves lapped at her and she was washed in his scent, and finally, finally, she was rested on the shore. _Fairy magic?_ an errant part of her asked. _I would have died thinking a fairy could have that kind of magic._ He nuzzled her cheek. 

She was blissfully drained, happy to be enveloped in him. He stroked her thigh with his thumb ever so gently. As her senses gradually returned, she realized that while she had found release, he was still aching. 

Her brow furrowed, and he chuckled. "Not a concern," he explained.

She opened her mouth to argue, but words failed to come to her. "I have no reason to be impatient now," he assured. "I just wanted to see you."

_See me? See me squirm, and sweat, and flush, and beg? See me so indecent and relishing in his touch?_ That was clear by his expression. 

He guided her down to the couch to rest her dizzy head, laying alongside her. His arm wrapped around her to keep her steady. His eyes sparkled.

"Which do you prefer?" she asked. "Kuon, or Ren?"

"Whichever one you like saying better," he purred. "Which do you prefer? Kyoko, or Bo?"

She couldn't even muster a scowl as fatigue was taking over her. "I'll get you for that," she teased as her eyes drifted shut. "I'll be waiting," he purred as he stroked her hair. It was the last thing she heard before she fell asleep.


	8. That's Bold

Kyoko was reluctant to wake the next day, perfectly cozy in Ren's massive bed. It took her a moment to remember that she was wearing his pajamas as well. They dwarfed her, but the silky fabric only added to her sense of pure comfort. She heard the dryer running in the background, recalling his offer to let her use the laundry. _But...but I was going to do it myself! Ohnoohmygod what kind of a state were they in after_ that _?!_

_This is it. This is what's going to kill me. I'm never leaving this bed. But, would that be sufficient punishment? It's so cozy, and it smells like it's owner..._

Kyoko was pulled out of her thought spiral when she heard two muffled voices coming from the living room.

_Yashiro?! That seals it. This is where I die. Yashiro-san can't see me in Ren's pajamas! He'll assume we...I already spent the night here, but these_ clothes _, and coming out of Ren's room, he'll know we've done something untoward!_

_And?_

A singular, small grudge appeared in her mind, arms crossed and fuming mad.

_And what?_ the other grudges retorted, swarming the one. _She can't be seen like this!_

_Why not? She's actually getting to enjoy herself, and it's getting everyone off of her back! For so long, they've all been trying to force her into this, so why not just enjoy it? Be the lovey-dovey, saccharine girl that'll piss 'em all off. Take your revenge on all of them!_

The thought quelled the mob and Kyoko got out of bed. She cuffed and folded the pajamas until they resembled something wearable, and taking a deep breath, she stepped out of the bedroom.

Yashiro's expression was pure smugness. Smug because he'd been fighting for this for so long, but tinged with the pride of a father finally getting his rebellious child to settle down. His smile was wolfish. "Kyoko-chan, good morning! I've taken the liberty of bringing breakfast. Won't you join us?" He held a to-go cup of coffee out to her.

Ren flashed an apologetic look. _Oh...he was trying to prevent this. Trying to get my clothes clean before Yashiro arrived._ The thought gave her the strength to grab the coffee and sit on the couch next to Ren. _I guess I'm not cut out to be lovey-dovey anymore. That Kyoko is dead. And somehow, I can't even manage the indignant Kyoko._

"Good morning, Yashiro-san."

"Did you sleep well?" he asked as if savoring the first bite of a dessert. 

"I-I did, thanks." She took a sip of the drink and looked at the like of tabloids on the table. Her name was plastered over the pages, and photos from Dark Moon and Box "R" were featured prominently. To her relief, none that she could see listed her last name. "How - how does it look?" she asked, stomach flipping.

"So far, no real opinions of the relationship have been voiced, only research on who you are and how you met. LME had been asked for confirmation of certain facts, but nothing relating to your real name - it seems that as society isn't interested who 'really is' Ren Tsuruga, they don't care about Kyoko. Your mother should be left alone in that regard...though we haven't actually heard anything from her, either."

Ren's face soured at that as if that wasn't an appropriate breakfast conversation. He handed Kyoko a chocolate croissant. She wasn't hungry.

"What about Taisho and Okami? Is Darumaya okay?"

Yashiro chuckled. "Oh, they are handling the attention quite well. I actually just came from there, intending to help them out, but the Taisho's stony stare and Okami's persistence has converted several a photographer to a paying customer. They encouraged you to enjoy your day off and to let them know if you need anything."

Kyoko smiled and took a bite. "I guess there's not a way for me to retrieve some fresh clothes from there, so I might as well go shopping and get some errands done."

"Sounds like a perfect way to spend the day," Ren said with a smile. "My interview isn't until six, so we can take our time."

"Interview?" she asked.

"Just a promotion for a cameo I did. However, Yashiro was asked if the topic of discussion could include this latest news, so, fortunately, that should guide the narrative from now on." He chuckled to himself at her horrified expression. "Please, today's a great day for me. I get to spoil you shopping, and then I get to tell the world how special you are."

"What?!" she yelled. "Spoil? No, no, no, this isn't the Heel siblings going on another outing!"

As if on cue, Ren conjured up Cain's pouting face, but it was Yashiro who turned the tides. "Kyoko-chan, if you're seen playing for your own clothes, it'll make Ren look ungentlemanly."

That's how Kyoko found herself with six bags worth of new clothes before noon, and with promises to find shoes and cosmetics after lunch. A few cameras caught them, but Ren was always able to frame the two of them perfectly. 

Kyoko excused herself to use the restroom at the restaurant and was nearly cornered by an encroaching paparazzo. Ren swooped in, seemingly unaware of the photographer's presence, and pulled her into the single person bathroom, locking the door behind him.

"Ren, there was a reporter! He caught you coming in here with me!"

"Exactly." He raised an eyebrow suggestively. "He'll be gone shortly, as no man would dare harass someone's lady right after...they've had some personal time."

"Personal...in a bathroom -oh!" She turned impossibly red. "B-b-but wouldn't they want to catch us c-coming out, after ..."

"Doubtful, but a man-to-man conversation often does wonders in this kind of a situation. Mainly...I didn't want you to get cornered on your own."

She nodded lamely, entirely unsure how she'd handle the situation herself. _I'd yell. I'd yell and I'd try to shame them, and look like a bitch, and that won't help the situation at all._ She sighed. _I'm terrible at this. All of this._

"So...what do we do?" she asked, defeated, leaning against the sink. 

"Well, I actually needed to talk to you - my parents will be here tomorrow, and they were hoping to have dinner at the President's home."

"Oh-okay..." she said and nodded. "Yes. Yes, might as well just get it over with." She shook her head violently. "No, that's not what I mean! I just -"

Ren closed the gap between them and stroked her arm. "I understand. This is a lot, a lot you didn't ask for, that you wouldn't have to deal with if I wasn't who I am." His hand traced up her arm and found her hair, stroking it. "You can tell me 'no' at any time. I won't make you go through with this kind of life."

"I'm not going _anywhere_!" Kyoko growled. "I'm not afraid of any of them, I just don't want to make a mistake and have it reflect poorly on you. I - I can't afford to lose my temper anymore. I need to be so careful because I don't want to be a burden-"

In an instant, Kyoko was enveloped in a kiss, with Ren's hand tipping her face up to meet his. His lips demanded her attention, and she was happy to comply, pressing herself against him. When they parted, she had to brace herself against him to keep her steady.

"Kyoko-chan, if you're sure, then I'll do whatever it takes to alleviate your stress." A hand drifted down her back and cupped her ass. Heat coiled deep inside of her. "I consider it my personal privilege to make all of this as pleasurable as possible."

It was then she noticed the bulge forming in his pants. She swallowed. It made her head spin as to how her inability to be a proper girlfriend didn't deter his desire for her, but in that moment, she took advantage of it. She grabbed his shirt and pulled him into her, ready to let him take her breath away once again.

His hands found the waistband of her skirt and tugged it down. He traced the hem of her underwear as his hand traveled back up. She shivered at his touch and let her eyes drift closed to focus on the sensation. A few fingers stroked at her panties, and she pushed her hips into it. Her eagerness evoked a small growl from deep inside of him. He pulled her panties down as well and grabbed her under the thighs, lifting her up and setting her on the counter by the sink. The cold surface was the first surprise, the second was the kisses he started trailing up her thigh. Her eyes bolted open.

The sight itself would have been enough to overwhelm her, but the way his lips tickled her skin only made seeing his head bob between her legs intoxicating. She soon became self-conscious about her grooming habits, as what she looked like down there had never been something she'd been concerned about. Her worry disappeared once his mouth found her labia, and his enthusiastic tongue made it clear she had nothing to be concerned about. She felt a low hum course through her body.

Her mind went to static as he licked inside of her. She clamped a hand over her mouth when she felt a moan threatening to escape, but the sound was just enough to encourage him to slip a finger inside of her as well. A wave crashed over her as he stroked. Time slipped away as she melted into his mouth, digging her fingers into his hair as she tried to keep her hips from bucking. She bit the inside of her palm when another finger beckoned inside of her. She tried to moan his name, but it came out a muffled grunt instead as her aching caused her to push into him. Her vision went white as wave after wave of heat consumed her, nearly sliding off of the countertop in the process. Ren caught her, and she slumped into his embrace.

She panted against him, desperate to curl up on the couch as they did before. She had to settle for picking herself upright, clasping his arms and showing him just how appreciated his efforts were with the sight of her in pure, disheveled bliss. 

He couldn't hide the pride, but the arrogance was tempered once she realized his mouth was still slick with the taste of her. She pulled him to her and kissed him.

* * *

Ren has dropped Kyoko off at his apartment before the interview. "First, it'll keep you away from the paparazzi a little bit longer, until some of the excitement dies down. Secondly, it'll actually lend credence to what I say - the crew will understand beyond a shadow of a doubt that I'm genuine, and not being influenced by you backstage. Plus, you can find a place to store your new clothes."

She tried to yell at him as he drove away, but her nervous energy kept the tirade short. In short order, she found that he had somehow removed all of the tags and receipts without her knowledge, so she cursed his name again. 

_You can't take these clothes home! But leaving them here is...is..._

_Terrifying. It shouldn't be, right? I should be overjoyed, and not waiting for something terrible to happen?_

She settled for them to go in the washing machine until she could decide on which evil was lesser, and almost missed the start of the interview. She slumped into the couch.

"Tsuruga-san! You've gone and depressed the women of Japan once again!" the female host declared, pouting animatedly. "You're now dating Kyoko, a hot up-and-coming actress known most famously for her role as Mio in _Dark Moon_. Tsuruga-san, I have to ask what everyone is thinking - _why_?" Her mournful cry of the question garnered a laugh from the audience.

Ren gave a good-natured chuckle and scratched the back of his neck. "I hate to cause anyone distress, but I promise that denying my affection for Kyoko-chan was rather distressing as well."

Kyoko bit her lip, and jumped when she saw Kanae's text come in. It read, _"That's bold."_

Kyoko replied with shaky hands. _"I'm freaking out!"_

The male host laughed. "So, was it love at first sight, Tsuruga-san? Did she walk in on the set of _Dark Moon_ and captivate you?"

"I actually met her long before _Dark Moon_ , and when I did...I actually disliked her quite intensely." The audience and hosts gasped.

_"HOLY SHIT!"_

"She was trying to get her break in acting, and I feared her motives were impure. That doubt caused her to dislike me quite profoundly as well...but the incredible thing about Kyoko is that she always strives to prove you wrong. Doubt is fuel for her, and for most it's a dirty fuel that leads to disaster. However, she uses it to change hearts and minds, and reignite the passions that you might have once thought died."

_"HWAT?!"_

Kyoko dropped her phone.

The audience gasped.

"That's quite a bold statement!" the female host said. "So, how did she manage to sway you?"

Ren chuckled to himself. "I could recount several times, but just allow me to expand a bit on the story Director Ogata recounted the other day."

The hosts leaned in, captivated. Kyoko leaned in as well.

"Before accepting the role as Katsuki, President Takarada advised against it. He claimed I had never truly been in love."

The audience gasped.

Ren held up a hand. "He turned out to be absolutely correct, by I, in my arrogance, accepted the role anyway. Kyoko's reimagining of Mio sent a shockwave through the whole cast, including me. You see, Kyoko found a way to understand a deeper truth of Mio that resonated with herself, and that gave birth to authenticity that cannot be faked. The truth of that became incredibly apparent when it was time for myself and Momose-san to film the scene when Katsuki kisses Mizuki's hand. I fell to pieces."

The audience and the hosts _"aww-ed"_ sympathetically.

Ren's face grew contemplative, lost in a sad memory. "I thought I was finished. Not just my career, but any piece of me that could claim to be a man. I couldn't even muster the courage to pretend I understood love?" He shook his head at himself. "Kyoko was just a rookie, and afraid to be so presumptuous to a veteran actor, especially to one who wasn't her biggest fan, but she...she knew I needed help. Having her by my side, and to speak with me so candidly about a subject I was abysmally blind to was...everything to me. She was why I found Katsuki, and from then on, I treasured her as my kohai."

The " _aww"_ turned adoring, and the audience applauded. Ren smiled bashfully and placed a hand on his heart.

_"Bit of a TL;DR, but not bad way to frame it."_

Kyoko was nearly in tears.

The hosts attempted to explain they'd be going to commercial, but they couldn't be heard over the cheering of the audience.

_"You alive, Mo?"_

Kyoko dialed Kanae, and she picked up immediately. Kyoko started crying in earnest.

"Come on, Kyoko! It was all nice shit, and fairly true!" she growled into the phone.

"I - I - I knooowww!" Kyoko sniffed. "No-no-no one's ever said anything that nice about me before! He meant it, he meant every word of it and HOWDOESANYBODYHANDLETHIS?!"

"UGH, you're the worst! You're upset that for once in his life he's being _nice and genuine!_ I knew you'd be even more insufferable when you fell in love!"

Kyoko heard the washing machine chime. "M-Moko?" she asked.

"What?!" she grumbled.

"R-Ren said I could leave some clothes at his apartment. D-does that mean in the guest bedroom, or - or in his - his bedroom?"

"I refused to be friends with someone so ignorant."

"MOKO!"

"UGH! His, Mo, he means his room!"


	9. He Missed You Terribly

Kyoko was happy that the next day was spent with her primarily in a chicken suit. She spent most of the day doing silly stunts for short, promotional videos for Kimigure Rock, so it at least tired her out so she didn't have time to think about meeting the Hizuris that evening.

Ren texted her throughout the day, seemingly innocuous, but Kyoko could tell he wanted to gauge how she was feeling. He responses were pictures of her in the chicken suit, captioned some sort of variation of "BA-COCK!" She knew it did nothing to quell his concerns, but she didn't know how to quantify them. She was excited to see her "father" again, but he wouldn't be her father in this context - she would be his son's girlfriend. _An idiot parent who thinks his son is the greatest thing since sliced bread. Who could ever be good enough to date him?_

Considering his mother sent a whole different kind of anxiety through her. Juliena Hizuri was also a source of Ren's beauty and grace, and she was married to the most doting husband imaginable. _Once again - who? Who could possibly meet her ideal mate for her son?_ The idea of disappointing another mother made her want to vomit and then curse herself for caring.

Ren picked her up from the studio after work and took her back to his apartment. "Let me take a shower really quickly," she said as Ren started to get changed. "The humidity was a killer."

"Need help washing your back?" he asked with an eyebrow raised.

Kyoko furrowed her brow for a moment until she realized what he was implying. At that moment, she could feel him standing behind her in a steaming hot shower, running a soapy hand over her body.

"NO!" she shrieked and jumped back. "Why would you even _think_ about doing something like that before meeting your _parents!?"_

He shrugged impishly, hand at a button on his shirt. "Nothing wrong with using your natural endorphins to make a situation less stressful. I thought we already determined that?" He licked his lips.

She threw a pillow at him that he just caught in the nick of time. "Kyoko...I genuinely do want you to enjoy this dinner. My father already loves you, and my mother will too. Considering that they're finally meeting a girlfriend of Ren Tsuruga's, they're already ecstatic."

Kyoko almost argued the point that they'd never met any of his girlfriends before, but she stopped. _Of course, they couldn't. It'd reveal his identity. But, he trusts me with it._ It was enough to take the edge off.

"Okay," she breathed. "I'm taking a shower. _Alone!_ "

He covered his heart with the pillow. "You _wound me!"_

"You'll live!" she retorted and chucked another pillow at him.

* * *

Kyoko was positive she'd only seen a fraction of President Takarada's sprawling estate and realized she'd never feel comfortable navigating it unless she'd spent a lifetime there. Or at least, that's what Kyoko told herself when she and Ren were ambushed by Maria.

Out of nowhere, Maria leaped on Ren's back and wrapped her arms around his neck in a stranglehold. "How could you, Ren-sama!?" she cried as she thrashed wildly.

Ren's eyes went wide and his hands went to her arms. Kyoko went around his back to peel the distraught child off.

"I - I am _very_ sorry, Maria-chan!" he stammered. "Matters of the heart are _complicated_ , and -"

Maria let go of her own volition and dropped to the floor. She straightened her poofy skirt and took a deep breath, staring at her shoes. "It's okay, Ren-sama. I'm just giving you a taste of what grandfather had to deal with when I heard the news. But..." She finally managed to look at him. "If you're going to fall in love with anyone else, Big Sister is the only acceptable option."

Ren smiled. "Thank you."

Maria turned to Kyoko and, nearly snarling, said, "Be warned, Big Sister. You've only got one shot, and if you blow it, I'm stepping up and I will show _no mercy!"_

Kyoko gave her a determined look. "I'd expect none."

"Maria-chan, will you be joining us for dinner?" Ren asked, slightly bemused by the intensity of the girls.

"Nope!" Maria blushed. "Daddy's actually in town, so I'm getting in a car to go meet him at the airport. We're going to get dinner and lots of desserts!" She waved goodbye and ran towards the entrance.

Kyoko sighed. "That...could have ended badly."

Ren wrapped his arm around her shoulders. "I'm positive that is going to be the most stressful part of the night."

His arm felt like fire when they entered the lounge, but she didn't have much time to dwell on it before "Kuon!" was exclaimed at them. In an instant, they were smashed together in a hug. Kuu Hizuri had trapped them, squishing his face between theirs. "I've missed both of you _so much!_ And to be reunited for such _happy news is -_ "

" _Move!"_ a female voice roared, and Kuu's arm was ripped off of Ren. He was yanked towards a tall, curvaceous blond. Kuu froze as he saw Juliena hold her child at arm's length for a while, eyeing him up and down. Her eyes watered. _"My boy,_ " she whispered reverently. Then, she smashed him in another bone-crushing hug. "My baby boyI'vemissedyousomuch! And look at you, you'reashandsomeasyourfather, but you clearlyaren'teatingenough and LOOK AT ME! Please, please take out those blasted contacts, let me see your real eyes!" She drug him to a restroom, Ren only sparing an eye roll along the way.

Kuu grinned ear to ear, and then pulled Kyoko back into a powerful hug. "Sh-shouldn't you be - ack - hugging your own child, Hizuri-san?" Kyoko managed.

Kuu shoved her back and gave her a wild stare. "Do _not_ speak to me like I'm some sort of _stranger,_ Kyoko-chan! I'm your father, and you will refer to me as such." The sternness of his voice and the sharpness in his eyes felt just like Ren's. _And I ignored that?_ He yanked her back into a hug. "You took the role of Natsu after we met, right? You _have_ to tell me all about it. Your execution was _brilliant!_ I'm so captivated by your interpretation -"

"You...you watched it?" she asked, voice trembling.

"Don't insult me! Julie and I haven't missed a _single episode!_ Let me guess, they wanted you to be the direct bully? The mastermind approach is phenomenal, you really -"

Kyoko's eyes welled with tears. "Thank you," she whispered, and Kuu stopped talking immediately. Instead, he rubbed her back.

"Dinner's ready, Dad," Ren called from across the room. Instead of letting Kyoko go, he turned both of them to face him, and he beamed. Ren rolled his eyes again, and his mother shot him a look.

"He _missed you terribly,"_ she scolded. _"Be kind!_ "

He sighed. "Yes, Mom," he said with a mischievous smile, and in an instant, Julie Hizuri had been reduced to a similar blonde puddle of pride and adoration.

President Takarada was sitting at the head of the table when they entered the dining room. "Welcome!" he boomed, and rose petals began falling from the ceiling. He dabbed his eye with a red handkerchief. "Today is a beautiful day, and is a true testament to the power of love and -"

"Rose petals are falling in the soup," Ren pointed out.

"GAH!" Takarada exclaimed and ran a hand across his throat. The petal stopped. "Go on, sit, drink, and be merry! And maybe just move on to the second course."

"Are you not joining us, Mr. President?" Kyoko asked.

He sighed dramatically. "Unfortunately not. Duty calls, however, I do have cameras set up here and in the lounge and in the courtyard, so rest assured I am not being wholly deprived of the purity of this event!"

Kyoko and Ren flinched. _Shouldn't be surprised, though._

"Don't make that face, Kuon!" Julie scolded. "This is an important reunion, I want video evidence of it!"

The dinner proceeded mostly in that fashion, with Kuu asking raving questions about each of their projects, Julie chiming in to coo or scold as appropriate. Through the scoldings, Kyoko finally understood why they ate at her; they were the frustrated sounds of a mother's care. She was passionately, ardently ensuring that her son knew, through affection or admonishment that he was loved.

Ren's hand found her knee throughout the night as she picked at her food. Julie seemed to bite her lip at seeing her eat in a bird-like fashion like her son. Dessert was served in the courtyard - a chocolate fountain with an assortment of fruits and sweets for coating. Kuu sent his wife and Kyoko ahead, having Ren help him acquire drinks from inside.

Julie approached the fountain and offered her a strawberry on a skewer. Kyoko just bowed her head instead. "Thank you for the offer, but I can't."

"I understand them is body pressure on actresses, but starving yourself is no way to feed your career," she said carefully.

Kyoko looked up, startled. "No! No that's not it. I'm just quite...full."

Julie shook her head, the type of disapproval only a mother could emanate without a word.

"I don't feel well," Kyoko admitted. "I'm just...nervous."

"That's what I suspected," Julie admitted, not unkindly. "But, I have been trying to understand why. And I realize that I am probably a major cause of that discontent."

As if some sort of joke, the chocolate fountain was situated next to an actual fountain, so Julie sat on the edge of the bowl, contemplating the strawberry. Her blond waves fell over her shoulder, and the contemplation in her eyes actually let her middle age display. "I've been trying to figure out the girl my son fell in love with. Who, I'm told, can get him to eat like a proper adult. Who he's spent the last few years getting to know, and then proclaimed to love on national television above all. Who he actually wants to introduce us to...or as much choice as he had in the matter." She chuckled to herself.

"It's...hard. To be a parent. To raise a child, and know it means your heart is going to live outside of your chest for the rest of your life. To see them struggle drives you mad. You want to tear down the world while also wanting to see them conquer it." She looked at Kyoko. "Has he told you why he left?"

Kyoko shook her head.

"Then all I'll say is that I was desperate to help him, but he felt he needed to leave. So he stole away to Japan and shed his identity." She ran a hand over her hair, but not as if it were hers, as if she were stroking her son's hair once again. "He was always going to be successful, I knew that. But, I hoped he'd follow his father's footsteps at some point. Shed his stage name and reclaim himself. So to find out that someone _fell in love_ with this new person, this _Ren Tsuruga_...is hard to cope with."

Kyoko didn't know why she was shaking.

"I apologize if I was standoffish earlier. It wasn't fair of me, especially since... Kuon told me about your mother." Tears prickled at Julie's eyes. "It makes me _furious_ to think that this woman could have had her child, and rejected her when I've been desperate for my own for years." Her voice warbled on the borderline of sorrow and fury.

"It - it's not her fault," Kyoko managed. She felt like she was falling through a bottomless pit. "I'm a reminder of her greatest mistake." She didn't know why she was defending her mother, but something felt treacherous about not giving an ounce of sympathy to someone betrayed by a terrible man.

"The moment you internalize the fact that your past is not a _shackle_ that weighs you down for the rest of your life, the better off you'll be!" she said with a fire in her eyes. The strawberry went over her shoulder into the pool of the fountain, and by the time she heard the _plop!_ , Julie had wrapped Kyoko in a hug. "That's the first piece of motherly advice I'll give you."

Kyoko froze. Julie continued. "Your new mother is one hundred percent American, so that means I'm going to be loud and physically affectionate and informal, so if you dare call me Hizuri-san, you'll get the lecture to end all lectures!"

This time, Kyoko did cry. She gave a great, heaving sob into Julie's shoulder, and she rubbed her back.

"Kyoko?" Ren asked, a glass of whiskey in one hand and tea in the other.

The women straightened and Kyoko wiped her eyes with the heel of her hand.

Kuu nudged his son with his elbow. "Maybe you should offer her the booze first."

"She's not a fan," Ren said and offered her the tea.

Julie took a champagne flute from Kuu. "Well, of course, she won't like that at first, it's so aggressive! Why didn't you bring her one of these, it's much better to get started with." Julie offered her the glass.

"I am underage," Kyoko explained.

"But, you're with your parents, isn't their laws about having a glass of wine at a family meal or something?"

"Not in _Japan_ , Mother. Plus you're clearly upsetting her, she doesn't need a depressant."

"We were _bonding,_ Kuon, sometimes emotional vulnerability requires tears!"

Ren spent the rest of the evening poking his parents like that, finding whatever opportunity he could to wrap his arms around Kyoko or kiss her forehead.

When it was time to leave for the evening, Kuu and Julie told her they would be heading back to America in the next two days, so it should leave her plenty of time to pack her things to move to her new home with them.

After "their" parents drove off, Ren held the door for her to get in the car, which wasn't unusual, but he also grabbed her seat belt to buckle her in, which was unusual. It gave him the chance to run his hands along her thigh and kiss her. The force of the kiss took her breath away and for her to trap his hand between her thighs. She tried to push herself up to meet him, but when she felt the seat belt hold her back, she remembered where she was. "What is _that_ about?" she roared.

"Convincing you to not move to America," he said in a raspy breath. She shoved him back, and he chuckled as he went to the driver's side.


	10. Ten Kinds Of Subtext

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A short chapter, but important enough it needs to stand on it's own.

"Kyoko-chan, can you grab my wallet for me?" Ren hollered toward the bedroom as he organized the pile of scripts in front of him. Their recent publicity had sparked an influx in scripts coming his way with various deadlines and the list of response deadlines currently resided in his wallet. Yashiro normally managed the work of culling scripts not worth his time, but the manager had confessed to having a date this evening. _"I'll handle them this evening, Yashiro. You deserve a break. Order a bottle of sake on me."_

Ren's eyes had begun to glaze over at the monotony of the task and realized that he should have made it two bottles. _Perhaps I should just take him out for drinks tomorrow and properly tell him I appreciate him. And...maybe apologize for dealing with my and Kyoko's drama._

_"Eeeeek!"_

The yelp broke Ren from his reverie and he bolted back to the bedroom. "Kyoko-chan?" he asked wildly, scanning the room for a rat or a reporter, but it was the contents of his nightstand that proved to be the source of her terror. He sighed. _Makes sense I suppose. Forgot I put it in there._

_"_ Wha - wha - wha _whatisthat?!"_ She yelped, still pointing at the item in question as if it were alien technology.

Ren approached her, and she startled and watched him with trepidation. He could tell the way that her golden eyes darted that she was fighting the urge to react even more dramatically, and considering that she gave that much effort, he knew he needed to be gentle. He sat on the bed and pulled _it_ out of the drawer. "An unopened box of condoms, Kyoko-chan." He resisted the urge to tease her about the slight comfort he gained from her being naive on the subject. Whether Sho had been even _more_ exploitative of Kyoko that she'd admit was always one of the things that worried him in the time before, when they were never truly honest with each other. That tension alleviated when he realized they could have a conversation not layered in ten kinds of subtext, but little hints like this didn't fail to help reinforce the fact.

" _Iknowwhattheyarebut-"_ She froze in the middle of her line of thought and went into a daze. "Prepared. You're just...being...prepared."

He nodded patiently and patted himself on the back mentally. After their incredibly dramatic and rain-soaked evening of shivers and truth-telling, Ren had scoured his apartment for any traces of any _others guests_ that could be discovered. He wasn't proud of it, but soon after his rise to fame and acquiring a swanky apartment, he had indulged himself in a few short trysts with some that were more on the conniving side - purposefully hiding earrings or bracelets in order to come back and "look for them." Nothing like that had happened for years, though, and Ren hadn't had _any_ sort of romantic company besides Kyoko since... _Since I met her. It's been literally years._

Kijima would have not stopped ridiculing him if he knew, however, nothing could have been more pleasurable than being able to go to Kyoko with a clear conscious. _I wouldn't even put it past Kijima to hide something suspicious as a prank._ Disposing of the previous, open box of condoms in his nightstand proved to be a conscious-clearing tactic as well - if he were going to be the person who _taught_ her all of these things, then he could at least make sure they were as safe as possible. _I can't even recall if they had expired yet._

Ren waited for Kyoko to stop nodding to herself. When she did, he said, "I apologize. The contents of the drawer must have shifted, and I didn't mean to startle you so. My goal in everything is to make sure I can help you explore yourself as safely as possible."

Kyoko took a series of deep breaths and clenched her fists. _This will be interesting to see where her mind jumped._

"Then...then...I should tell...I should tell you..." Her face was growing beet red. She went to her purse, sitting on the dresser, and rifled through it for a moment.

_Does she need to write it out?_ _Fair enough._

Kyoko then hurled a palm-sized _something_ at her that he snagged out of the air, which rattled when it hit his hand.

" _Oh,"_ Ren gasped as he examined the package of birth control pills. The rectangular sheet had the days of the week listed, and the diligent patient hadn't missed a single day. _She is always full of surprises._

" _Tobeperfecltyclear, it can serve many purposes besides p-p-pregnancy prevention, so for r-r-reasons I startedtakingitshortlyafterjoiningLoveMe so you should know it'sworkingjustfineandI'mhavingnorealsideeffects."_

He took a moment to compose himself, and once again, the truth gave him a comfort that would be morally questionable at best. He felt his pulse quicken slightly at the implications that the knowledge imparted, but he stamped the thoughts away quickly. _I've already waited years, a little bit longer won't kill me._ He stood and crossed over to her as she stared at him like a wild animal.

"Then I am comforted that we have two means of protection if the situation arises." He pressed the pack back into her hand and kissed her forehead. "Does that sound acceptable?"

She nodded as the tension around her eyes dissolved.

Letting the cheekiness re-enter his voice, he added, "I'd be more than happy to spend time talking about ways to enhance the physical aspects of our relationship, but I really must attend to this pile of scripts." He snagged his wallet from the nightstand and exited to the living room.

As if on cue a few beats later, Kyoko shrieked, "Let me help you!"

He chuckled to himself. _Her comedic timing is impeccable._


	11. Even When He Hated Me

Thankfully, Darumaya was fairly busy that day, so the rote work of placing orders and bussing dishes lulled her into a comfortable rhythm. She also got excellent practice for her responses to any jabs her way about her recent publicity, and by the time the lunch rush was over, she felt she could handle any reporter with a quick wink and a witty comment. The solace wouldn't last, however, as the restaurant closed by eight o'clock. Her stomach turned as she cleaned tables. _At least I'll get to see Ren for a few moments, before he's carved to bits._ _What other reason would Taisho have to close the restaurant early?!_

Her heart leaped when she saw Ren approach the entrance, only for it to plummet immediately. _He brought a bottle of wine._ Something with a decidedly French or Italian label was clutched in his hand, and he clearly hadn't changed after his modeling job. Taisho would take it as an attempt to butter them up, which would have him sharpening his knives even faster.

"Why, Ren, why?!" She threw a rag at him that hit him square in the chest.

He gave her an incredulous look. "And hello to you too, Kyoko-chan. Was my shirt not stained enough for you?"

" _No!"_ she said emphatically. "What is _this?_ Why would you come here looking like _this?!"_

"Like what?"

"Like _good!_ Straight off the runway _good!_ And wine? It's not going to _impress them_ , no matter how much it cost!"

His eyes sparkled in amusement at her compliment. "It's an apology, primarily. I've cost them an employee for multiple days, which I'm sure caused undue stress. Hopefully, it'll help them relax."

"That's a very kind gesture," the Okami said as she entered the dining room. "Tsuruga-san, we greatly appreciate you taking time out of your schedule to speak with us."

"I appreciate the opportunity to discuss the situation and my intentions." He looked past the Okami down the hallway. "Where's Fuwa hiding?"

" _GAH_!" She heard the shriek and shuffling of someone being dragged. The Taisho shoved a flailing Sho Fuwa into the dining room. "Let go of me, old man!" With a final shove, Sho straightened out his hoodie and jammed his beanie further over his head.

"What are you _doing_ here, Shotaro?!" Kyoko squawked. She whipped her head to Ren. "And how did _you_ know he was here?"

"The disguise is terrible," Ren said dismissively. "Fairly easy to tell who was skulking around the back."

" _I_ invited him," the Okami explained. "Kyoko-chan, I think...I think he needs to hear it from you, personally." Her gaze went to the floor, ashamed at the deception. "So...while we talk with Tsuruga-san, please...please talk with him."

Kyoko frowned, a thousand arguments bubbling in her head about exactly why she wasn't going to. However, she noticed just how...puny he seemed. Small, and childlike. She sighed. "Fine. But I'm not going to stop cleaning."

Taisho nodded and gestured for Ren to follow him and Okami. Ren composed himself and followed, a serious air overtaking his countenance. _It's as if he's asking for my hand in -_ _HWAAAAAAA!_

Her face turned beet red as the thought coursed through her, so she gathered her rag off of the floor and starting wiping tables again. " _WhatisitShotaro?!"_ she said as she started manically scrubbing.

"What the hell are you _doing_ , Kyoko?" he grumbled.

"My _job_ , this place is filthy, and you're only making it worse! Grab a rag and help!"

"Don't play dumb!"

She moved on to the next table and sighed. "Honestly, that bargain was ridiculous, there's no way I'm going to go back to Kyoto with -"

He kicked a chair. "You're supposed to try and _beat me!_ And look at you now, you're just a fucking leech clinging to Tsuruga. You're shacking up with him and you'll forever just be known as his girlfriend, and then you'll get knocked up and he'll marry you so he doesn't tarnish his reputation."

She slammed her hand on the table. "You don't even _know_ him! And he actually _supports me_ , which is something you'd never understand. Even when he _hated_ me, he wanted me to succeed!"

"And me kicking your ass _right now_ isn't that?!"

"No! Absolutely not!" She was shaking, but deep in her heart, she felt...pity. He thought this was...right? That you need to get knocked on your ass to just so you can rise up? _I guess...that's what he saw from me, right? He didn't see how I cried. How I clung to Corn to take away my sadness._ She was tempted to tell him that Ren is a fairy - was her fairy prince all those years ago. Their connection transcended acting itself. They had held each other in their hearts for years, and they had finally made their way back to each other. _This isn't some scandal in the making - it's a love story._

She finally turned to face Shotaro. His eyes were that of a child who was crafting a series of arguments, just waiting to poke holes in whatever she said. _Or does he think he's...protecting me? From another 'him'?_

"I'm _insulted_ that you think love would change me that much," she fired back. "I'm still gonna beat you! I just don't want to be a _rage monster_ all of the time to do it!"

He gave a self-satisfied scoff. "That's not gonna _last._ You're always gonna find something to get riled up about. Something's always wrong, or always a challenge, or some sort of _drama_ you've got to get yourself mixed up in, even when we were kids."

She twitched. Most of that was _his fault_ , his sheer existence in her life caused so much jealousy and agony. So many normal, adolescent experiences were taken away from her because of him. _It was like he was the leech on me._

_And Ren doesn't come with that same baggage?_ a small, blonde demon sang in her ear. _Aren't you just proving him right by picking The Most Eligible Bachelor in Japan?_ The demon gagged on the title, but its point was made.

_Ren actually cares, though. He feels bad that his love comes with a price. And he'd do everything in his power to make it right._

Kyoko laughed to herself. "Maybe I do need to pick my battles more strategically, but you're not the first to tell me that." She recalled her high school entrance exam, the frantic energy she poured into studying, and it only took him asking _"Why?"_ for her to realize she didn't have to get a perfect score. _I've got to keep perspective. I have to remember what's most important._

That only served to irritate him more. "He's the _co-star killer!_ He's gonna fuck around, you idiot."

She shot daggers at him. "I know how to recognize _that_ kind of deceit now, thanks to you. Plus, haven't you heard? I'm his muse. That's what all the tabloids say. That, or a witch who put a spell on him." Her expression grew serious. "I'll be the one accused of being deceitful if the press ever figures out the truth behind _your_ little stunt."

Sho's expression soured. "You...got it? I thought you were oblivious..."

Kyoko decided he didn't need to know it was Kanae who pointed out the truth. "Quite frankly, it was lazy. And clearly for your own self-promotion, because just a few months sooner it would have been on my birthday! Or did you _forget?!_ "

"I didn't forget!" he snapped. "It...was more of a business decision, couldn't change it." He started to flush. "Did _he_ even do anything for your birthday?"

It was Kyoko's turn to flush. "Yes. But it's _none_ of your business!" She clenched a fist. How could she make him _understand?_ "My...whole life before was sacrifice. Cutting off pieces of myself because it'd help you, or make my mother proud. But I don't _deserve_ that! Yes, being with him means giving some things up, but I get _so much more_ in return."

He simply narrowed his eyes. "I thought you were above sleeping around to get roles."

This time, she balled up the rag and it nailed Sho in the face. "The _hell?!"_ he shrieked.

"The _hell,_ me? The hell with you! It's not a barter system! How _dare_ you think I'd have such little integrity! You can help someone without having an ulterior motive, you _dolt!_ And until you understand that, this conversation is pointless."

"Guess so," he said in a more serious tone. He made his way toward the door.

"Why do you _care?!_ " she snapped at his back. "You're the one who made it clear just how plain and boring I am to you. And your rival throws his lot in with me, shouldn't you be rejoicing? If I'm as bad as you think I am, I'm only gonna tear him down. That's just one more battle you wouldn't have to fight."

He flinched but didn't turn.

"But still, you persist! So, I clearly can't be that bad. In your twisted way, you care, and that's why you can't see how _messed up_ the way your thinking is! How your actions are just... _wrong!_ "

He left without a word.

Kyoko slumped into a chair and rested her forehead on the freshly scrubbed table. _That was...exhausting. Normally, I get some sort of burst of inspiration or drive to work harder, but this...I don't think there's anything I can do to help him. Not yet, anyway._ She wondered if this was what it was like to have children, which instantly reminded her of the scolding Ren must be receiving at this _very moment_.

She shook her head and bolted up from the table, cleaning the rest of the dining room madly in an effort to distract herself. When that was finished, she let herself crumple into a heap on the floor and stare at the ceiling for a time.

"Quite frankly, I wasn't sure which of us was going to have the tougher ordeal, but it seems it was you," Ren said, leaning over her.

"You're alive!" she exclaimed, bolting up and grabbing him. She inspected his limbs and his face, seeing no traces of blood. "You're intact! I think..." She appraised his buttons for any signs of a struggle.

"Physically, I am perfectly fine. Mentally, I haven't felt so chastened since I threw a carton of eggs off of the balcony when I was seven."

"Why would you waste eggs like that?"

He shrugged. "My mother's a terrible cook. I thought it was a kinder fate."

Kyoko looked around him and peered down the hallway. "Where are Taisho and Okami?"

He smirked. "Getting ready for their dinner reservation."

"They accepted the wine _and_ dinner?!"

"Okami accepted while Taisho begrudgingly accepted that his wife deserved something nice. However, he did insist that we take home a meal from here." _Home_ was a word that filled Kyoko with hope and dread simultaneously, as it felt _right_. More and more, his apartment was feeling like home. The place she belonged.

"R-right. Let's get going."


	12. A Momentous Day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ya'll, I've really feel like I should write something up front, but all I can say is HOO BOY!

They ended up watching TV while having dinner, as Kanae's first television interview was being aired that evening. It was only a quick anecdote about how amazing the director was and when the film was airing, but Kyoko couldn't help herself from live-texting her the entire time.

_"YOU ARE SO BEAUTIFUL!"_

_"THE CAMERA CAPTURED YOU PERFECTLY!"_

_"THAT! ENUNCIATION!"_

_"YOU'RE RADIANT I AM SO PROUD OF YOU!"_

_"I'M CRYING! I'M GOING TO WATCH IT AGAIN!"_

_"You recorded it?!"_

_"OBVIOUSLY! I can send a copy to your family!"_

_"Don't!"_

_"Excellent work, Kotonami."_

_"Thanks, Tsuruga. Are you holding Kyoko's phone above her head where she can't reach it?"_

_"Naturally."_

"How can you _possibly_ text one-handed like that?" Kyoko moaned as she jumped up and down, trying to at least get ahold of bicep to pull his arm down.

"Pure moxie," he smirked. "And a little bit of jealousy. I've never received such praise for so few seconds on television."

"That is _not the same!_ " she retorted. She grabbed his shoulder and tried to use it as leverage. "You've had countless interviews! This is the first one where the _whole world sees her as her!_ I can feel it, this is the start of her becoming a household name!"

He lowered the phone slightly. "If this is what it took to get you jumping all over me, I'd have done this ages ago."

"Hey!" She grabbed his other shoulder and pulled. "Get down here! This is a momentous day! I must _memorialize it!_ "

"One would have hoped that the day you introduced your boyfriend to one of your various surrogate parents would have earned that denotation as well."

She snarled and grabbed his collar. _He had a point. But, how doesn't he understand that_ every _day with him has been momentous? That this is finally_ real _is just...he's a fairy, for goodness sakes!_

"Two people I love dearly had major days, so that's included."

"And what do I have to do to convince you we can re-watch the interview in the morning?" he asked as his voice dropped dangerously low.

Her palms started to sweat as a thrill ran through her. "C-convince me to stay the night?" she stammered, any ability to banter back thrown out the window as she saw his pupils dilate. _Green. His green eyes. Because we're at home._

"That all?" he purred, tossing her phone on the couch and putting his hand on her hip and drawing her closer. "No creative requests?" He tipped her chin upward.

Scrambling to meet him as heat rose inside her, she said, "You've done a great job improvising before...top your own ideas." She gave his collar an extra tug to punctuate it.

His breath hitched at the tug. "I do quite enjoy you getting a little rough, Kyoko-chan." She could see his chest start to turn red, and that's all it took for her to yank him into a kiss.

_That's not even fair!_ _That was just words!_ Perfect words, spoken by perfect lips that needed hers, or so he made clear as he tugged at her bottom lip between breaths. She pressed herself against his solid form as the pads of his fingers found purchase in her back. She eventually let go of his collar and buried a hand in his hair, the other running down his side until he found his hipbone. He hissed. "Kyoko," he breathed a ragged warning, but the heat building in her core was only stoked. She ran a thumb over it slowly, asking if she could follow the path it made.

"Please," he barely whispered as his lips brushed her ear, and she could feel herself swell at the plea. She caressed the outside of his pants gently and felt him twitch as it been given permission. He gasped, and the breath on her neck made her shiver. She ran her hand upward to feel him stiffen more, and she landed on his belt. She tugged it and lead him to the bedroom.

By the time he closed the door behind him, he was at full attention, and Kyoko nearly gave her attention to his buckle until she saw just how hungry his eyes were. Instead, she let go of his belt and put her hand to her own neck, letting it trace down until she popped the first button on her shirt. That was all the permission he needed to undo the rest of them himself, with deft hands that desired to be reckless and rip them apart. Tossing the blouse across the room, he started kissing the very spot on her neck she touched first.

As her breathing deepened, she had to keep her hands busy somehow, so she fumbled at his buttons as well. As the angle proved challenging, his descent down the trail was painstaking, but Kyoko's fingers tingled at the idea of _earning_ it. With three buttons left to go, he popped open her bra and discarded it almost disdainfully. When her fingers grazed number two, he took a nipple in her mouth, and a surge rushed through her. His tongue found purpose licking at her, as a hand cupped her other breast. It more than fit his hand. A moan escaped her lips. An unbidden snarl escaped his and tickled her sensitive flesh. _Impatient. He's getting impatient._ She smiled and popped open the button. Satisfied, he switched sides and gave the other attention. She did what she could to work his shirt off, but in the end, he yanked it off and shot it across the room.

She wrapped her arms around his hips and pulled him forward, hoping to make him fall. Instead, he braced himself easily against the bed and raised an eyebrow at her. She slithered back on the bed, letting a mischevious look in her eye telling him to follow. Eager to comply, he crawled along and Kyoko could see a spot forming on the front of his pants. _When's the last time Ren Tsuruga has been that pent-up?_ It emboldened her.

Ren was distracted with shimming her skirt down, which gave her enough time to reach into his side table and find the condoms.

He almost jumped back when he noticed, giving her a wild look. "That is _not_ what I was implying, Kyoko, believe me."

She could only imagine how far the flush had run up her, her chest heaving and eyes searching him. "Please," she asked.

"It could still hurt," he said, his brow furrowing.

"It hurts worse without being able to feel you," she hummed, letting her lips part slightly.

_"Fuck,"_ he moaned in a way that stirred Kyoko deeper than she thought possible. He started ripping at the box, and she pried open his belt and pants with frantic energy. He tore the wrapper with his teeth as she shoved his pants and underwear down, and with more grace than humanly possible, he made them fly across the room.

Butterflies and anticipation fluttered in her as she finally saw his erection - the mystery _thing_ that had previously taunted and eluded her through layers of fabric. She had always thought that she'd have more ability remaining to _gather data_ , to take measurements and finally complete the _information_ that her dolls had always lacked, but the only thing she could think as he rolled on the condom was, _It needs to be inside of me._

He leaned further over her and watched her carefully as he pressed the tip at her entrance. He was positively humming with anticipation, but even then he was worried for her. _"Please,"_ she cooed again.

He slid himself in.

A familiar pressure revisited her, and she winced as she sorted through a dull ache of both pleasure and pain. She could feel him almost shaking, he was ever so _patient_ as the smallest wave caressed her. She pulled him into her, knowing that he only had more to give. She groaned into him as he took an agonizingly long time to glide into her, but the relief she felt when he was fully _inside_ and against her sent her mewling.

He buried his face into her shoulder as he waited as if she were going to shatter if he moved too fast. Another wave asked to overtake her, but that required _his_ assistance. She curled her fingers in his back, and her body started insisting he move as she contracted against him.

"Kyoko," he groaned into her flesh, and ever-so-slightly, he began to thrust into her, a slow, delicious pace that licked at her deep inside. She squeaked with each stroke, and then he kept himself pressed deep inside of her as he ground against her.

That elicited a cry from deep inside of her, a primal force that beckoned him to go faster and deeper and bury Kyoko in the only feeling that existed in the world. As her vision went white, Ren started curling around her and gasping into her shoulder. His thrusts became more staccato, and with a final grunt, he collapsed into her already-drained state.

Feeling his sweat-covered form blanket her comforted her in a way she never wanted to end. However, after a few moments, he sat up on his elbows. "That was almost shameful, I'm sorry."

She stared it him utterly confused. "I've been a monk since I've met you, Kyoko-chan, my...endurance isn't what it was." He managed a shy smile. "But I'm certain with a bit of practice, I'll be back in top form.

As if she could need anything else? As if she could have ever expected in her entire life to feel so satisfied _?_ And he thought this wasn't _right_? _Perfectionist._ She wanted to laugh at him, but her state of pure bliss made that impossible. "I.... have....never been so relaxed in my life," she said, barely able to keep her eyes open.

Finally, relief overtook him as he realized just how content she was. He slipped himself out of her and dispose of the condom. She felt almost cold at the absence until he laid on his back and pulled her into his side, resting her head on his chest. "Very well," he purred as he stroked her hair. "As long as you're happy."

She kissed his chest in the affirmative and closed her eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more time with feeling:
> 
> HOO
> 
> BOY!


	13. Alterations

The smell of coffee brewing and the sun shining in the window were having the desired effects on Ren's senses. _Awake. Alert. I can't go back to bed now._ He couldn't go back to bed, he couldn't even go take a shower, or else he'd risk pawing at himself or Kyoko. _Again. She needs to rest. She barely slept last night._ He paced around his kitchen wearing nothing but his sweatpants - the one article of clothing he could sneak out with without disturbing her sleep.

She had kept waking up in the way that new lovers do, when they realize that the one who makes them feels special is within arms reach, and, in this instance, conveniently already naked. They had slept in the same bed before, but somehow the lack of clothes had changed those nighttime urges from sweet cuddles to needful searching. Her half-asleep touches and kisses were easy to deter, however, as finding _just_ the right way to stroke inside of her relaxed her enough to fall back asleep. _I'd have been a goner if she touched me like that, though. Kuon would have been in charge at that point. Not that he'd hurt her but...she deserves patience. Everything has to be at her pace. But, Kuon would have devised a way for them both to skip work today._

Ren poured himself a mug and sighed. _Disgraceful_ would have been a gentle way to put it, as other, more derogatory words flooded his mind. He had vowed to himself that he would ravish her body all night long to make up for her discomfort, to make clear in her mind just how safe and cared for she was in his arms. He took a sip. _She seemed happy despite that, but I wouldn't be me if I was satisfied with someone else's standards._ He gave a sardonic chuckle. _I need a cigarette._

He had given up the vice a long time ago, but the ritual itself, of going outside and sparking the lighter helped him delve into his own thoughts, and the steady nicotine would have at least stave off what he actually craved. _A distraction. And I wouldn't want to approach Kyoko smelling like that._ Taking his coffee on the balcony wouldn't serve either, as his coffee would grow cold too soon.

He heard the shower turn on in the bathroom, and realized his calculation about showing first may have been mistaken. _At least it wouldn't have smelled like her if I'd have gone in first._ _And for her sake, wouldn't have taking care of myself been more dignified than risking asking her for more?_ He had always prided himself in not _needing_ it, and always being a gentleman. _Ladies first_ was always his motto in that regard, and ideally, _second, third,_ and so on. However, it being Kyoko, and her _eagerness_ drove him nearly senseless. _Kuon is not an animal, but he's not above pursuing his desires. He knows how to give a look that does all the talking._ But Ren couldn't deny that Kuon was a refuge as well, a means of protection against himself. _It's not a performance with her. I am so desperate for her to see me as a man, as the one she can trust. As the one who trusts her completely._

His mug slipped in his hands. _She has none of her toiletries here. She's going to come out smelling like me._ "Fuck," he groaned, equal in anticipation and trepidation. _No pajamas here either, so she'll be coming out in..._

Kyoko drifted into the kitchen, engulfed in one of his robes and towel wrapped around her hair. "Sorry. I needed to use your soap, but now you're almost out. I-I'd pick some more up, but I don't even know if I know where to get that brand." Her scrubbed pink cheeks smiled apologetically, but the typical anxiety that would have accompanied her 'causing such an inconvenience' wasn't there. She was relaxed and safe and warm, and she smelled like cedar. He felt himself twitch and bit the inside of his cheek.

"Not a problem, I needed to run some errands today anyway. Perhaps...I can pick you some up as well?" he ventured. "You tend to pick floral and vanilla scents, correct?"

The pink deepened, and he tightened his grip around his mug. "That- that's not necessary, I can just get some later on. I don't want to trouble you."

He relaxed a little bit. _This is territory I know well. "_ Overall, it's more trouble to have two people go shopping for the same type of item when one person could just pick up both items at the same time." He cocked an eyebrow at her. "Next argument?"

She scowled. "It's _so expensive!_ A bottle of your body wash is more expensive than my shoes!"

Cupping the mug in his hands, he leaned on the countertop. "I honestly don't know how much it costs. I don't tend to look at labels much nowadays. I used a sample once before and liked it, so I stick with it." In an instant, the towel was off of her head, rolled in a ball, and launched at his face. He snagged it out of the air and draped it over a chair before he could catch its smell. "I know you still feel like a struggling actress, but your fairly successful in your own right, and are beloved by fairly famous actors and models. You can't keep up this attitude up, or it'll begin to sound disingenuous." He gestured to a long box propped by the door. "You have a package."

She gave him a wary look before going to grab it, her feet peeking out from the fluffy white monster as she walked. He sighed internally. _Kijima would die laughing at the idea of finding her ankles sexy._ She moved the box to the couch and examined the return address. "Sunshine Alterations? In California?" She went pale as she made the connection and started ripping the box open. _But has he ever considered the way an ankle leads up the body? How it hints at the curves above? How they can lock behind your back to keep you close and let you -_ He buried his face in his coffee as she pulled a red sheath dress covered in a plastic bag out of the box. A note was taped on the outside.

" _To my beloved daughter,_

_They should all fit perfectly, and if they do not, I'll start knocking some heads together, and Kuon will see that they're fixed. Let me know before the end of the month when you'll be getting a new batch sent your way!_

_Kisses,_

_Mom"_

She grabbed her damp hair with one hand as she read the note out loud. She laid the dress almost reverently on the couch as she rifled through the remainder. "There are seven dresses!" she squeaked. "What - how - _why?!"_

He grinned. "Some of Mom's old dresses. I think I even recognize that one. She had them tailored for you, positive you wouldn't accept new ones."

" _WellobviouslyIwouldn'twhyonEarthwould -"_ Ren's grin widened as he saw her shift gears entirely. "How?!"

He poured Kyoko a cup of coffee as he explained. "LME has your measurements on record with the wardrobe department. In what world wouldn't President Takarada authorize giving them to my mother for such a grand gesture of love?"

"None," she squeaked. "Every possible version of every Lory Takarada in every parallel universe would do that."

Taking both mugs, he joined her by the couch as she laid out the remainder of them. Some of them were perfect for a cocktail party, while others were sharp and business-like. _Essential for negotiations. Mom always believed in the power of the right attire for the occasions._ One was a navy blue, floor-length gown. _To accentuate her chestnut hair. Mom doesn't miss a thing._

He tried to offer her the coffee, but instead, she wrapped her arms around him, buried her face in his chest, and squeezed him for dear life. Soft and fierce simultaneously, he was tempted by the madness and wanted to throw the cups to the side, until he felt the smallest drops land on his chest, one after the other. She was crying.

He managed to grab both mugs handles with a single hand, and used his now free hand to tip her face up. Her eyes sparkled with tears on the brink. "Mom has always wanted a girl to spoil. And an excuse to buy more dresses."

She swallowed hard and smiled as she blinked away the tears.

_Work is going to be torture.  
_


	14. Someone She Called Home

The morning had proved to be a roller coaster for her, one that should have left her screaming. Instead she felt...full. The opposite of tightness in her chest, instead, enveloped in a warmth she hadn't felt since Sho had skipped work for Valentine's day after they moved to Tokyo. _He just wanted me to spoil him, and go to a dressing room full of sweets the next day._

Before the bitterness could overtake her, however, she'd feel an ache. She was _sore,_ in a way that baffled her at first, but then she felt Ren's weight on her again, his breath on her skin, and his overwhelming need for her and -

She didn't mind the ache. It was a sweet ache.

She was lucky that she was only required as a stagehand that morning because it left her alone with her thoughts, which kept looping and twisting in ways that made her blush. _At least the uniform distracts from the blush a bit._ She found refuge in the memory of Ren's parting kiss that morning - equal parts tenderness and longing. _As if he's thanking me for that...obscene display I made._

She still didn't know what had come over her last night, what could have given her the inspiration and confidence to act like that, but all she knew is that it was _needed. Kyoko, not Natsu, not Setsu, had to lead the scene._ She hit herself in the head for the last part. Calling it a _scene_ felt wrong. She may have been putting herself on a bit to make her desire clear, but Ren... _He was so... vulnerable. There was no facade, only...him. Trying desperately to know what the right thing to do was._

Seeing him without his contacts still gave her moments of dissonance, but it was because she was finally deciphering some of his past behavior - behavior that hadn't bee quite 'Ren'. _Kuon. The brash behavior that Ren is capable of, mixed with the impishness of Corn. It must have been that side of him that got him fired from so many jobs when he was younger._

She was left to her thoughts for most of the day until President Takarada called and requested she come to his office. She normally felt nervous anticipation at these requests, but now she could barely muster tension in her shoulders. She was physically tired, but mentally...okay. Suddenly, the world didn't feel so dire. She knew that, in the end, she'd be okay, because she had someone she called home.

Ren and Yashiro were already in the President's office when she arrived. "Mogami-kun, thank you for coming," Takarada said, gesturing to the empty seat next to Ren. As she took it, she thought she noticed Ren biting his lip. _What...what does that mean?_

"Sawara has received an offer for you, Mogami-kun, however, he wisely decided to hand off the dealings with it to me, as the circumstances of the offer are...delicate," the President explained. "It's a role in a TV movie, as the loving, younger sister of the protagonist. However, the actress playing the lead is...one of Ren's ex-girlfriends. "

Kyoko could practically feel Ren collapse into himself. The shockwaves resonated through her. "Who?" Kyoko asked, not realizing she was speaking until she finished. "Have I seen her work before?"

"She's primarily a model," Ren said, "But not without talent. Smaller roles in the last few years, but we met during an R'Mandy promotional event, and then a few jobs together...I was eighteen. Long before you moved to Tokyo."

"What's her name?" Kyoko asked.

"Oh...Aya Hasebe."

"Hasebe..." She thought she recognized the name. Yashiro offered her his phone, with a picture pulled up on it. Ren shot him a dirty look. "Oh...I remember this photo! It made Sho crazy for a week."

Ren snorted. _Snorted?_ He looked like he was going a bit mad himself.

Kyoko studied the photo for a moment. Ren looked...graceful. Powerful. And Hasebe was radiant, and equally graceful, with silky, raven-black hair and eyes like molten chocolate. "She's beautiful. I'd....I'd have to wear contacts to properly look like her sister," Kyoko mused absently.

"Adoptive sister, so eye color won't be a concern," the President clarified. "She fondly looks back on the day her sister came into her life in times of distress. Your character will be truly, undeniably loved."

"It would be an excellent way to show off your range, Kyoko-chan," Yashiro added.

"Yes, but her skills alone should qualify her for the job, the director is being ridiculous!" Ren shot back at him. Yashiro flinched. "Sorry, Yashiro." Ren rubbed his forehead.

"The director has made the offer contingent on you and Hasebe-san meeting ahead of time to ensure compatibility." The President waved a hand. "But, Ren's not wrong about the nature of the request. Kyoko-chan has proven countless times that she can make even her staunchest detractors into her friends, which Sawara made perfectly clear. The director is angling for _photographic evidence_ to leak in order to quell the baseless, nameless claims that are floating around in the less respectable tabloids." The last bit came out as a sneer. His public relations teams had been working overtime to quash any claims of salacious behavior or cryptic warnings towards Kyoko. "Proving that Ren is still on good terms with one of his more serious, past relationships and that she and Kyoko can get along will do a lot to smooth the production process."

Kyoko folded her hands and stared at them. To anyone else, she would have appeared to have been thinking, but her mind was empty. The final bits of the shockwave were finally wearing off.

"I still think it's insulting for me to have to be present at the meeting. I'll talk to the director _myself._ It's positively misogynistic to insist on me being there."

"It's fine. I'll do it."

The room went quiet.

Kyoko looked up. "I mean it. I'll do it. Yes, it's not ideal but...this is what I signed up for. It was bound to happen. So...I'll do it. I can do it." She unfolded her hands. "It's one meeting for a fantastic role. And...and I'm sure she's just as annoyed at the requirement, right?"

Yashiro nodded. "I spoke to her agent, and she's rather steamed as well."

"Then, we have two things in common. I've made conversation with people I've had less in common with." She nodded, determined. "She's trying to break out of a misconception about herself, and so am I." She looked over to Ren. "Unless...you have reason to object?"

He balked. "I - I think you two would get along fine! It's an...an excellent opportunity. I just despise how your connection with me is causing undue stress on your career."

She rested a hand on his arm. "Then...it's fine." She smiled. She actually meant it. "It'll shut up the gossip once and for all and Hasebe-san and I will give amazing performances." She squeezed his arm and gave him a determined look. "I've got this!"

Ren swallowed. "I believe in you. I do."

Yashiro smiled. "Of course he believes in you. You're incredibly capable, and you'll knock it out of the park, as always."

Takarada grinned. "Very well! I'll call the director and send you the details."

Ren stood and grabbed Kyoko's hand. _Is it...sweaty?_

_"_ Ren?" Takarada said. "You might want to give Kyoko-chan a bit of context on your history with Hasebe."

He squeezed her hand. "I _know,_ I know, I..." He looked at her. "Are you...done for the day?"

"Yes," she said, searching his expression. "Thanks, President Takarada, Yashiro." She gave them a quick wave before Ren led her out of the room.


	15. Stay With Her

In reality, Ren knew his relationship with Hasebe wasn't exactly a thrilling tale. They had dated for six months, which felt like an eternity at the time, but nowadays felt like a blink of an eye. They went on dates and he bought her gifts. She brought flowers over to his apartment to "brighten up the space" and asked if they could order in instead of going out - a request that he didn't understand until now. He'd instead tell her that she was too beautiful to keep hidden from the world. They'd always end up at his apartment and the end of the night anyway, what was the big deal? _"I'm not a jealous man, but I am a lucky man, and I'm not afraid to show the world just how lucky._ "

That line made him want to vomit. It was a lie, he _was_ a jealous man, but only over one person. He would happily never go on a public date again if that's what it'd take to be with Kyoko, something he'd have never said about Hasebe. _And why?_ There was nothing technically _wrong_ with her, he just didn't love her. That was Ren's problem, there was no _thing_ he could quite point out to explain why he didn't fight for her. Hasebe had admirable qualities, ones that Kyoko had as well, but how do you explain that to someone and _not_ make it sound like an omen? How do you raise up the one you love while not dragging a former flame?

_"I agree with the President, Ren. Even if Kyoko-chan doesn't actually ask, you need to have an answer. Why didn't you stay with her?"_ Of course Yashiro would say that, but somehow hearing it from him was worse than from Takarada.

He spent that evening in that terrible minefield, of Kyoko lobbing innocuous questions at him for him to try and answer as delicately as possible. How could he explain that Hasebe didn't chastise him the way she did? That Hasebe never got so entranced in her own thoughts that the world disappeared, and just for a moment, he could glimpse into them? That Hasebe could never become so dedicated to the character of an _anthropomorphic chicken_ that it could fool him? All things that would sound desperately wrong if he said them incorrectly.

He had nothing ill to say about Hasebe, nothing beyond, _"It takes so long for her to get ready in the morning"_ and _"She's a terrible cook"_ and " _Her apartment's a mess."_ He refused to say those, however, because the imagery it would conjure would send Kyoko into a pit of despair, he knew. 

Ren had actually been _proud_ of Hasebe when he found out she was cast for the role - likely because they wanted a pure Japanese beauty in the lead over someone with experience, but he knew she could rise to the challenge. If this meeting had arisen a few years from now, after he and Kyoko were married, he'd have nothing to worry about! But Ren and Kyoko were nearing three months together, and this felt...so sudden.

Every question from Kyoko drew nearer and nearer to the one he dreaded most: _Why did you break up?_ When it finally came, all he could say was, "Hasebe was moving to New York for three months for a job. Yashiro offered to find me work out there as well, so I could go with her, but I thought that was ridiculous. I claimed it would have been a burden on her that she didn't need. I don't think she quite believed me, but she seemed to expect that answer, so we were...done."

"Oh." For once in her life, Kyoko was still. Quiet. He would have preferred that she call him a callous bastard. Or say _literally anything_.

How could he say anything ill of Hasebe when there was so much wrong with himself? The string of former lovers was proof of that enough, lovers he hadn't even properly _loved._ _It didn't even cross my mind to have a long-distance relationship and I don't even know why._ But he did, didn't he? He was a terrible person. Not always, but in the end, that's what it came back to, time and time again.

_I've shaped my career around being someone that the you from long ago would be proud of,_ would have been the smart thing to say, but he wasn't sure if he had succeeded in that. Instead, he wrapped an arm around her and kissed her. It took her a moment to respond, slowly, methodically, but she did. "I'd move with you anywhere," he breathed and kissed her again. "Sapporo, Okinawa, Sydney, Hong Kong...I heard there's a ryokan in Kyoto that needs management?" That earned a small smile, so he continued. "I'll call you 'boss' and sneak around trying to find places where I can show you just how good of a boss you are..."

He trailed kisses down her neck until she agreed that the best place to move at this time was to the bedroom. He almost had forgotten that she needed time to recover, but he knew he could take her mind off of the meeting in other ways - ways that put his mouth to better use than trying to explain his past. He didn't need a script for this, he just needed to pay attention to the way she squirmed and moaned and respond. That, he knew he wouldn't mess up.

* * *

Kyoko had two days to mentally prepare herself for the encounter. Overall, the actual event was simply "prove you can play together nicely", but Kyoko was insulted at that, so she wanted to find a way to blow the director out of the water. She quizzed Ren over Hasebe's personality and their past, and then she wanted to seek out the cameo appearances and interviews she's had, but Ren advised against it. "She's a growing actress, and it might bias you to act in a certain way towards her. It'll be more authentic to feed off of what she brings to the meeting." That was one of the few, straight-forward things he said during those two days. Otherwise, when he wasn't on set, he seemed to be a mess of trying to explain his past, hedging and clarifying until Kyoko would forget what he was talking about initially, scattered with compliments towards herself. She wanted to tell him to snap out of it so he could help her figure out what angle to take with the director, but at the same time, she didn't want to punish him for feeling vulnerable. _This is something I've never seen out of him...is this a piece of Kuon? Perhaps...the young Kuon. The one I was with Father._ She thought it'd be callous to point it out, instead, she doubled-down on portraying her confidence.

* * *

Aya Hasebe was more beautiful in person than she was in photographs. Her hair only skimmed her shoulders nowadays, which added to her mature, warm smile when Ren and Kyoko entered the practice room. "Kyoko-san, it's a pleasure to meet you!" she said with a small bow. "Tsuruga-kun, it's good to see you! You're doing well, I trust?"

"Fairly well," he said with a nod. "And you as well? Are doing well? As well as one can ask in spite of..." He looked around the room. "Where's the director?" Kyoko cocked her head to look at him, bewildered.

Hasebe smiled apologetically. "My manager's trying to track him down as we speak." Hasebe seemed to study Ren, unsure of where to go next. _She's probably never seen him so unsteady either. But, she needs to relax! She's going to be my acting partner._

"Perhaps he fell down a well?" Kyoko quipped, giving a slight, mischevious glance up at Ren. He looked almost betrayed, but Hasebe stifled a giggle.

"Well then, I suppose I'll use his tardiness to my advantage," Hasebe said. "I absolutely adored Dark Moon. My mother showed me Tsukigomori when I was young, so we watched Dark Moon together when it aired. She was a bit betrayed that I preferred the remake! Your performances were both so full of passion, and the few scenes you had together were positively electric."

"That's very kind of you, Hasebe," Ren said. "Though I apologize for the strife with your mother."

Hasebe smiled encouragingly. "It took us a while to decide on a new show to watch together after that controversy. But, most recently, we started watching Box R, and two episodes in I realized that Natsu was Mio! I had to stop watching immediately, or I was going to get intimidated."

Kyoko's heart fluttered. "That's sweet! I mean, I'm no one to be intimidated by, but the sentiment is very kind." Kyoko grinned. "Actually, now that I think about it, you probably deserve some of the credit for Natsu."

Hasebe cocked her head curiously while Ren's eyes begged her to stop. Kyoko put a hand on his arm before she said, "The way Natsu moves is based on a model's walk, which Ren taught me how to do. He must have been pulling from what he learned from you!"

Hasebe was positively giddy at that. "That's _amazing!_ I'm so honored! Oh my goodness, please!" She clapped her hands together. "Please show me what he taught you, I am _so intrigued."_

Kyoko gave Ren a sly look. "Please, take a seat, dear, and give me some space." Slightly flushed, he found a chair by the wall as Kyoko rolled her shoulders. Hasebe stood back a few feet as well. "Forgive me, I'm a little rusty, but I'm sure I remember the walk." All of Kyoko's focus went in to lengthening her strides and landing with power and grace. Her hips shifted with purpose and her eyes demanded the wall's attention.

"Beautiful!" she cheered. "But might I give you a few tips with your hands?"

"Please!"

The pointers were interrupted when the director entered, nearly gasping for breath. "My...apologies, everyone." He held a fistful of scripts aloft. "But we weren't going to get started without these." He furrowed his brow when he noticed how she and Hasebe were posed. "I see you're already bonding?"

Kyoko gave him a knowing look. "We'll be sisters, right? We need to make up for lost time!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HMM, can I resolve the ex-girlfriend plot line before I'm submerged in NaNoWriMo hell? We'll see! *panicking intensifies*


	16. A True Test Of Their Chemistry

The director focused on a few key scenes for her and Hasebe to practice as a true test of their chemistry. Kyoko felt the scenes flowed fairly naturally - they both needed time to develop their characters a bit more, but at least as Hasebe and Kyoko, the lines felt genuine. Ren was pulled in at a few moments to play their father or neighbor, which seemed to help steady him.

However, Kyoko knew he was very conscious of the fact that the door to the room was left wide-open. It became her mission to make him look at her, which also had the secondary effect of energizing Hasebe.

When the director was satisfied, Hasebe asked Kyoko to guide her to a restroom, which Kyoko happily obliged. "I...actually wanted to talk with you, if that's okay?" she gestured Kyoko to follow her in. She did.

Once inside, Hasebe sighed and leaned against the sink. "I'm so sorry about all of this, Kyoko-chan. Can I call you Kyoko-chan?"

Kyoko felt a pang of sympathy for her. "Of course! And it's not your fault, it's the director who -"

Hasebe shook her head, slightly amused. "Dating Ren Tsuruga isn't a walk in the park, and even when I was with him I wasn't put up to such ludicrous scrutiny. By pursuing this role, I feel like I'm making myself a part of it. I guarantee men aren't put up to this kind of stuff, so I want you to know I don't condone this."

The ache became more profound. "Hasebe-chan! That's why we have to stick together, to prove to them all that pitting women against each other is wrong!"

Hasebe looked up shyly. "I also wanted to warn you about Tsuruga-kun but...I don't think it's needed."

Worry bubbled inside of her. "Warn? Why?"

A tinge of bitterness colored her low tone. "I was going to say that he doesn't get attached like most people. He's kind and he's caring and he's generous, and he loves, but he never...falls in love. Is consumed by love." She swallowed. "But I can see, that's not true. He truly loves you." She laughed at herself. "I'm sorry, that should have come out more cheerfully. I can't deny I have pride, Kyoko-chan, and why he couldn't love me was vexing. Why couldn't I capture his heart? But, I don't think it was ever for the taking." She stood up a bit taller. "Have you two known each other long?"

Kyoko's cheeks burned and her stomach turned. "When we were kids. Somehow, we found each other again."

Hasebe smiled. "Forgive how petty this sounds, but that makes me feel so much better. It's like a fairy tale." She stroked her hair thoughtfully. "It makes me believe I'll live my own fairy tale someday."

"Hasebe-chan..." Kyoko could feel tears welling in her eyes. She fell to her knees. "If you need _anything_ to help you succeed in the world of acting, do not hesitate to rely on me! Night or day, sickness or health, I won't fail you!" She slapped a palm on the ground.

"Kyoko-chan!" she exclaimed. "What are you doing?!"

Kyoko looked up. "Acting is how I got to live my dream, and if I can help you too, I'll do whatever it takes!"

Hasebe chuckled as she offered Kyoko a hand. "Maybe we can start with trading phone numbers? Then we can grab crepes sometime? After my next shoot."

Kyoko took it and bolted upright. "I love crepes!"

* * *

"Are you sure you don't want anything a bit more...special, than hamburger steak? We're celebrating a new role," Ren asked as he changed lanes, his palms sweating against the steering wheel.

"Hamburger steaks with runny eggs _are_ special!" Kyoko insisted. "Plus, Hasebe-chan reminded me how lucky I am that LoveMe jobs keep me in shape, so I can eat what I want!"

"Hasebe-chan," he repeated, dizzy. He had thought he'd heard about the power of a public restroom to bring women together, but he generally thought that only applied to _drunk_ women. "When did diet come into the conversation?"

"Well, we're going to get crepes sometime, and Hasebe is texting me dates that work between her modeling jobs!" Her tone grew thoughtful. "That must be some intense pressure, I don't think I could handle it!"

Numb. His hands went numb, so he found the nearest parking space and pulled in abruptly. "Jeez, Ren!" He buried his head in his hands. "What's wrong?! Are you okay?"

"You're going to out to eat with her? Is she your friend now? Or is it some sort of scheme?" The questions seemed to be directed at her, but he wasn't even sure himself. He didn't know how to proceed, because Kyoko hadn't asked him the one question he'd been waiting for: _Why didn't you love her?_

_I didn't because..._  
_I didn't._  
_I thought I did?_  
_I thought I couldn't love anyone.  
_ _I thought no one could love as much as you._

All of these made him feel like a monster.

"Ren, please," she implored, grabbing his sleeve. "You've been off ever since the offer came in, and if she can't be trusted, tell me! I thought she was really nice, and she said she was worried about what the press was doing to me. She sounds like she wants us to be happy!"

"What?" he locked onto her eyes because they were the one thing that seemed in focus.

"She said we were a fairy tale, and she hoped for her own one day!" Kyoko insisted. Her tone softened. "She still seemed confused about how things ended, and I told her that we met when we were kids, and that made her feel better. That all this time, your heart belonged...to me." Her expression fell. "I'm sorry, I know I shouldn't have brought it up, but I thought it'd help her find some closure and -"

He lunged across the seat and kissed her. He would have ended up on top of her if the seat belt didn't lock. Kyoko squeaked in surprise but took the opportunity to grab his hair and stick her tongue in his mouth. He knew it wasn't exactly gentlemanly to be thinking about Aya Hasebe while his girlfriend was trying to kiss him back to life, but somehow he had to thank her. He didn't know if there was appropriate etiquette for that. He would have killed for a greeting card that said, _"Thank you for giving me the words I couldn't find, I owe you for the rest of my life."_

His lungs were burning when they parted, and when he sunk back into his seat, he started laughing. Kyoko grabbed his collar. "Okay, that's enough! You've really been worrying me and this is the final straw. What's _wrong?"_

He smiled at her as if he were drunk. "I'm not broken, Kyoko. I didn't love Aya because I already loved you. I'm not a _monster,_ I was just lost on my way back home."

She blushed and undid her seat belt. "Ren...we're gonna get out of this car, and we're going to go to that tea shop halfway down the block and have something to drink until you start making sense, okay?"

"Yes, ma'am," he laughed as she leaned over and unfastened his seat belt as well, kissing her on the cheek. Nothing was particularly _funny_ per se, but his chest was so light that it seemed nonsensical to _not_ laugh. It certainly wasn't going to be fun to explain to her his thoughts the past few days, but isn't everything funnier when it's in the past? How could this not be, at least, immediately comical after it had caused him so much stress?

"I learned from Mom," he said, almost in a haze. "I knew what I was doing long before Hasebe, Kyoko, I -"

"That makes sense," Kyoko said, nodding patiently. "But she could have jogged your memory, right? I mean, I was always going to tell her about the inspiration I got for Natsu, and this seemed like an even better way to connect with her. I thought it was true enough at the time to help my acting partner gain some confidence."

"Oh...oh. Good instincts. That's..." He grinned. "I'm proud of you."

She reached over and stroked his cheek. "I appreciate it, but let's just go get some tea! I'm thirsty, and you're...in need of some tea."


	17. The One Who Tamed Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess who's BACK?! I finished NaNoWriMo, and 50,000 words of original content later, I return to the world of fanfics! 
> 
> I already had most of this chapter written before the beginning of November, so switching gears to 'editor' mode was fairly relaxing! Too bad Ren can't relax xD

"I'm very proud of you Kyoko-chan. This could have been a bit of a powder keg, but you clearly handled yourself well in that audition," Sawara said as he pointed to the half-page image of Hasebe and Kyoko giving a scolding to a fearful Ren, begging for mercy on his knees.

Kyoko winced. "Yeah, but, doesn't look a bit...cruel towards him?"

Sawara waved a hand. "Nothing more than the former 'co-star killer' can handle, or likely deserves. Plus, it shows a united front between the two of you, which has greatly reduced the studio's concerns about the project. Which is also what I wanted to talk to you about today." He folded his hands as if he was contemplating his next words carefully. "Kyoko-chan, when you reach a certain level of public recognition, sometimes casting becomes as much of an event as the actual production itself. Some studios find it prudent to capitalize on who's in the public conscious at the time, leading the casting process to be a spectacle in itself. That gambit can be effective if some executives are unsure about the project, so while this casting decision seems to have been effective in securing that the TV movie will be made, it also seems that it's less...urgent, than it once was. Instead of a project that would start within the next few months, it's looking more like the next year."

Kyoko's face fell. "Did I do something wrong?"

"It appears to be quite the opposite - they seem confident enough in you and Hasebe's chemistry that they don't _need_ to capitalize on the potential tension. As a courtesy, however, your contracts have been granted some wiggle room - if you or Hasebe decide to back out of the project up to four months before the start date of shooting, you won't be penalized, and they'll simply recast for the other or both of you, if you both decide to back out."

"But I _want_ to work with Hasebe-chan!" Kyoko said, balling her fists. "We worked hard for this, and proved all of them wrong about us, it feels like they _want_ us to back out now!"

Sawara winced. "I _promise_ it's not that. It's merely a practicality - you may accept projects in between now and then with deadlines that slip, so it at least gives you the flexibility to stay in good graces if necessary. It _is_ a way to concede to the scheduling difficulties, however... if you had been truly appalled at the dog-and-pony show you were put through, it's a way of letting you back out gracefully. You're very resilient, Kyoko-chan, you've proven that, but Hasebe is new to this side of the industry and she may not be comfortable with the situation on reflection."

_That makes sense. But I know we can do this! It would be incredible for her career if she came out and killed it in this role, I know we can get there!_ "Sawara-san...can you deliver Hasebe-chan's manager a message? Can you tell her that I won't participate in the project without her? I'm committed to us working together, and I believe that the best version of this movie is with the both of us."

Sawara relaxed in his seat, relieved. "Absolutely. I'd be happy to. And I'm so impressed with the way you've progressed, Kyoko-chan. You've grown so much through the last few years, it's quite an honor to get to watch."

"I couldn't have done it without you! And the President, and Ren-kun, and Yashiro-san, and -" At that point, she started counting on her fingers, somehow it just then dawning on her how lucky she was to have all of these people offer to help her. _Well, not quite 'offer', more like take me under their wing after I basically gave them no choice -_

"That's something I wanted to talk to you about as well," he said, holding a hand up. "Tsugura-kun has been your senpai for quite sometimes, but considering the circumstances..." Sawara began to lose steam as Kyoko's grudges surged forward, daggers in hand. _Ren sees real talent in me, even when he hated me! I've taken his lessons and learned from them, I didn't use him to get to the top like some washed-up excuse for a journalist may claim!_

"I'm saying this as a father whose going to have to have this conversation with his own daughter one day!" he squeaked. "Kyoko-chan, you need to see yourself as an equal to him, and I think that means finding you a new mentor!"

Her grudges halted but remained at the ready. "Whatdoyou _mean?!"_

"It is _not_ my place to tell you how to run your personal relationships, but I must advise you _against_ maintaining a mentality of being lesser than your partner. Yes, the industry has put Tsuruga-kun on a pedestal, and he is incredibly accomplished, _however,_ in the time you've been in the industry, you have made _strides_ in becoming a powerhouse of your own, with your own style, and your own appeal. It has been very generous of him to mentor you as he has, but, first, he can never teach you the nuances of the industry that you'll need to thrive as a _female,_ and secondly... you cannot let the senpai-kohai mentality dictate your behavior at home. It will only serve to build resentments in the future."

Kyoko called off her forces. "Resentment?" she asked in a quiet voice.

"I'm not saying the same scenario is going to happen to you and Tsuruga-kun, but...when my wife got pregnant she stopped working to take care of our daughter. That meant me working more hours, and her, getting woke up every two to three hours to feed our little girl. Exhausting, it was all exhausting, hard work, but...my wife sometimes felt resentful that I got to get out of the house, speak with adults, and earn money. While I..." He sighed. "I couldn't ever quite figure out how to handle my daughter as a baby. Getting her to stop crying, making her laugh, even feeding her was so hard. I was resentful that it was only something she could do. That I was never _good_ enough for my daughter."

He shook his head as if bringing himself back to the present. "What I mean is, natural divisions will always appear in relationships, where one of you is better positioned to handle a thing or has more skills in an area. It important to recognize that, but where possible, it's important to try and make things more equitable."

Kyoko bit her lip.

"That's why...with your permission, I'd like to start focusing searches for your next roles on films that will put you with veteran actresses. I'd like you to work with women who can help push you even further, to understand the breadth of what you could do. It may take some time and a few different roles, but you have a keen ability to turn even your detractors into your allies. I'm confident you can find a mentor."

"Wait...that's it. That makes sense. How could I have forgotten? I want to stand side-by-side with him on the big screen, as his _equal."_ She felt herself lightening as she talked to herself. "But, having Ren Tsuruga next to a Ren Tsuruga student will never work! It needs to be complementary, but not the same! It's got to be a proper femme fatale!" She nodded to herself. "With my knowledge of Ren, and an industry veteran's instruction, I'll be able to craft the perfect performance to match him! It'll be electric!" She slammed her hands on the desk, and Sawara jumped. "Yes! Sawara-san, please, find me a mentor!"

He rubbed his forehead. "Very well, Kyoko-chan." And, in a voice, she could barely hear, sighed, "No wonder she's still in LoveMe."

* * *

For once, Kyoko could confidently say that she understood what Sawara was talking about, but could not bear to take it to heart. _I have more pressing matters right now. I know our conversation at the tea shop did not fix Ren's anxiety, but I don't know what to do next!_ She could call his parents, but sending Kuu and Julie into a tizzy would only stress him out more. _This isn't something I can fix with a pudding cup, either._

She had done what she could in the tea shop - she asked the employees for a secluded table, and they happily obliged for Mio and Katsuki. She ordered something caffeine-free for him, not thinking a stimulant would be wise. She sat next to him instead of across, as an _I'm on your side_ instead of a _You owe me an explanation_. He did explain, as much as he could, about his fear about why he did not love Hasebe, and what that said about the hardness of his heart. She understood all too well what it was like to feel like your heart was broken - not distraught over love lost, but _not functioning correctly._ What was _wrong with you_ , for feeling that way, or not feeling at all? _I was born in it that, molded by it. My mother was incapable of loving me, and nothing would have changed that._

"If I couldn't even determine what was wrong in retrospective, how can I trust myself to not make mistakes in the future?" He ran a hand through his hair as the steam in his cup rose in lazy whirls.

"That's...insane," she said, voice catching in her throat. "You always forgave me when I apologized sincerely. Don't you think I would do the same if you made mistakes?"

He tried to speak, but he only squeaked. He took a sip of his tea, then finally managed. "Have you ever gotten something you wanted so badly? That once it was in your hands, you were terrified to break it?"

Ren, she had wanted so badly, but she knew she could not break him. Corn, Kuon, Katsuki, it did not matter the iteration, he always rose when knocked down. However...

"Yes," she said, softly, fishing in her purse. She then grabbed his hand and turned his palm upward, pressing the item retrieved into it. "Even my tears would wash him away, so I found a place to hide them. He is still as fragile as he was back then, just not what I want anymore."

When she pulled back her hand, she revealed the Corn stone, still pristine, in his palm. She wrapped his fingers around it. He chuckled and raised an eyebrow.

"Makes you feel better," she urged playfully. He relented and put it in his pocket.

* * *

"Absolutely not," Ren growled at President Takarada in a way that made the hairs on the back of Kyoko's arm stand. "Kyoko is done jumping through hoops to appease the press, and Kimiko Morizumi's _blog_ does not even rise to the level of a tabloid!" His hand was shoved in his pocket as he said it, giving Kyoko the impression he was clutching the stone. _For dear life, it seems. He's not going to crack it, is he?!_

Takarada's glare back could cut glass. "You are the one who gave her a ring."

"Years ago! For her _pinkie!_ Out of _pity."_

Yashiro tried to calm him down. "It is just charity work, Ren. In the end, it will do a whole lot of good for the kids, while getting the ten percent of people who pity Morizumi's pitiful post about her broken heart to quiet down."

Takarada put a finger to his lip. "Something's not _right_ with that girl. The whole _Lotus_ movie being delayed for an investigation behind Koenji's assault was a disaster, stirred by Morizumi's outrage that her uncle would not just cast her instead and proceed. Turning down the movie was the best option, but we need even more distance between her and you, Ren."

Kyoko put a shaky hand on Ren's arm. "He's right. People seeing you, helping take care of kids at a daycare for low-income families would distance you entirely from that kind of drama. You have done charity work in conjunction with LME before, and it's just one day."

His lips twitched as he looked at her. " _Together._ Because you have to be there, to make it clear you're the one who tamed me. That Japan will be _so_ blessed when you start popping out our perfect children. How _dare_ anyone wish to slander such domestic bliss in the making?" He shot another look back to the president. "She is _eighteen._ The only thing she has to do is pay her bills and show up to work on time."

"It is _one day_ ," she growled back, partially at Ren, but mostly to the uneasiness in her stomach. Half of her grudges were howling in pain at the imagery of tiny Rens, while the others sharpening their swords in preparation for the onslaught of memories of Saena Mogami. "It's basically just spending the day with a bunch of tiny Marias, right? She's a handful, but nothing to be upset about."

"Mostly younger, a few infants but mostly toddlers and preschoolers," Yashiro clarified. "All they want to do is play pretend, and who would be better at doing that than professional actors?"

Ren sighed. " _Any_ other type of charity work would have been preferable. Why would you _make_ Kyoko face this?"

"Because I knew she would understand the greater good behind it," Lory said, matter-of-factly. He looked at Kyoko and his expression softened. "Many of these families do not have stable male role models. By highlighting this issue with a name as big as Ren Tsuruga, other male celebrities will follow suit, and from that, other men in the community. These children need to understand that families are just as much made as dictated by biology. That people care because they choose to. One day of discomfort for you and Ren may lead to many better days for these kids."

Kyoko swallowed hard and then squeezed Ren's arm again. "I can handle one day without breaking."

Ren deflated, all but the hand clenched in his pocket. "Very well."


	18. In The Rocking Chair

It was an early morning for both of them. By the time Kyoko and Ren arrived at 5:30 am, a mother already was dropping off a sleepy toddler at the daycare center. Ren tried to introduce himself to the director, beginning with a, "Thank you very much for allowing us this opportunity -" but they were quickly whisked away to put on branded polos, then put in a room with preschoolers.

One of them was tired, resting her head on the tiny table in the room, while two others were roaring and stomping their feet. Ren swallowed. _Maria was this silly once, it's fine, it's...way too early for roaring, but..._

One of the roaring ones sped up to Kyoko, pigtails bobbing, and "ROOAARR!" in a half-growl, half-shriek. Kyoko flinched.

Both of them had slept fitfully the night before, reaching out to the other when one woke. There was so much that could be said, could be talked about, but just knowing the other was there was enough to at least put those conversations at bay.

"Inside voice, Miki-chan," the director scolded firmly, then turned to answer the phone on the wall. Miki looked chagrined for the moment, but then looked back to Kyoko.

"Roar!" the girl said in a half-whisper.

Kyoko raised an eyebrow conspiratorial, leaned down, and returned a "Roar!"

Miki chuckled, and her roaring companion ran over. "Die - SAUR!"

Kyoko curled her fingers into claws and, in an inside voice, parroted, "Di - no - saur!"

The little dinosaurs grabbed her hand and towed her over to the dinosaur toys scattered on the play mat. Even the sleepy child peeked her head up to watch Kyoko.

Something tugged at Ren's heart, an ache that rose and formed a lump in his throat. He wanted to join them but was afraid to spoil the moment. The indecision tore at him, so he moved to plunge his hand in his pocket once again until a harried mother entered with a bundle in her arms. The mother buzzed past the director and straight to Ren. "Haru ate well this morning, but is still having trouble spitting it up, so you might keep her upright for a while." She passed the bundle to Ren, who held his arms out in stunned silence. It was a baby, eyes half-open, squirming and fussing. He cradled the baby, stomach-dropping when her little foot kicked out and shifted her weight. _I've been here five minutes and I nearly dropped a baby._

The mother furrowed her brow and said, "Upright, if you please, on your chest - " then, she looks up, and her eyes go wide. "Oh...oh...Ren Tsuruga... that... that was today!" Ren tilted his arms awkwardly to try and bring the squirming child's head upward, but he had no idea how to get the baby on his chest. _I'm going to drop her!_ The mother started bowing profusely. "Thank you, Tsuruga-san, thank you so much," and then, with one quick look at Haru, leaned in and kissed the top of her head. She skittered away.

The director looked almost amused at the scene and hung up the phone. "You have never held a baby, have you, Tsuruga-san?"

"I have not," he said, leaning forward in a way to pass off the baby, but unwilling to actually pull her away from his side. _Don't drop her, don't drop her, don't drop her._

The director scooped two deft, small hands under the baby and lifted her up. "Neck and diaper, Tsuruga-san. You support the neck and head with one hand," she nodded to the hand cupping the back of Haru's neck, pointer finger and thumb resting under her ears. "And then, the bottom with the other. Easily maneuverable that way, and she doesn't feel like she's being smothered. " She then lifted the baby as if to lay the baby on her chest. "Just like this. Haru's been having some tummy issues, so let her rest on you for a bit while she digests. She'll be a lot less squirmy then." The director offered Haru back.

Ren felt sweat bead on his brow. Kyoko had gotten all three preschoolers to play, "Indoor Dinosaur", and at that point, Ren believed she was cast as the dinosaur teacher. He swallowed hard.

"Humanity has survived millennia without cribs, running water, indoor plumbing, and gluten-free crackers, Tsuruga-san. You won't break her. Besides, your hands are larger than most, she will feel very safe." The director's voice was firm, but not unkind. He put his hands underneath the director's, and the director slid out the one underneath Haru's bottom first. Then, her head.

His arms almost ached with the weight of responsibility, but the director mimed holding a baby and how to move your arms to lay it on your chest. He mimicked her movements, and Haru snuggled in almost instantaneously. The warmth comforted him, as well as the director's smile.

Haru burped. The director chuckled. "She's comfortable already, Tsuruga-san. There's a rocking chair in the nursery classroom, right over there. Lio-san will be here in the next fifteen minutes to help out in the nursery." The director turned to intercept a few toddlers, and another woman in a polo entered with them, herding them to their cubbies to take their coats off.

It was then that Ren noticed Kyoko staring at him. He panicked for a moment, thinking something was wrong with Haru, but then Kyoko smiled. It's heartbreaking. He could swear he saw her eyes watering, but it quickly receded when Miki tugged at her hand again. _She likes it. She likes seeing me like this._ The lump in his throat swelled, so he couldn't manage a quip, but he rubbed Haru's back and gestured to the adjacent classroom, separated by a waist-high wall. _I'll be there,_ the gesture said. _In the rocking chair._

* * *

Lio-san did arrive shortly, already with a child bigger than Haru in her arms. Like the director, Lio was not afraid to put him to work, and when Haru grew fussy about twenty minutes later, Lio set about teaching him how to change a diaper. It was awkward, and a bit intimidating at first, but he did find that his large hand helped steady the four-month-old as he strapped the diaper on with the other. "Haru was born premature, so she's a bit smaller and behind her little friends that age, but she's got the spirit to make up for it," Lio explained. "Haruto, on the other hand, just a couple of months older and is already a crawling master. Threatening to cruise along the furniture."

"I thought parents could stay home with their children for a whole year after they were born?" Ren asked. _These kids are so small._

Lio shrugged. "Labor insurance won't cut it for some single parents, it's not their full salary. And sometimes married parents - the father gets punished for trying to take time off to take care of the mother, so the mother drops off the baby for a few days a week so the mother can recover. Can you imagine the discrimination for same-sex partners? There's - ah, little Sora-kun!" Lio grabbed a little boy from his hurried father, and the small boy shrieked with joy.

"How many infants are we expecting today?" he asked.

"Three more. You'll be an expert after this."

Kyoko, on the other hand, had become the preschool instructor's assistant, helping the kids get craft supplies, getting them to put away their toys, and reminding them of their "Indoor Dinosaur" voices. When the teacher told the preschoolers about Kyoko being an actress, Kyoko got to lead them in some vocal warm-ups and stretches - modified for children, of course. She looked so happy, and it was _her_ happy, not some sort of role she put on. _Saena Mogami tried her damnedest, and she still couldn't crush that girl._

All of the babies went down for their nap at noon, so Lio and Ren were able to join the other teachers and older kids for lunch. Lio and the director spent most of the time comparing photos they had taken through the day - making sure kids' faces weren't visible, and getting them approved from Kyoko and Ren, deleting the duds. It was essential for their social media, they had explained but were more than willing to send the two of them copies. "The official press photo will be at the end of the day," the director explained. You two and the teachers." Kyoko's pictures were all wild, full of movement and energy, while Ren's were patient and doting, domesticated _. Yashiro's going to start fielding requests for diaper commercials after this, I guarantee it._

Kyoko's cooing over the pictures made that not a problem though. _I could do it. I wouldn't look ridiculous while I did it, I actually have practice now._ Somehow, he knew if his father had gotten the request, he would have done it in a heartbeat. _I think there's a lot of things that Dad wishes he could have done._ He would take one, he decided, for the right company.

When he did, an open container of applesauce flew across the table and landed on his shirt. The table froze. Tears welled in Miki's eyes, as it was her plate that she knocked off of the table. She covered her face with her hands, trying to hold back. "Miki-chan," Ren said patiently as he scraped applesauce off of his already soiled polo. _Haru spit up on me twice, so it's already filthy._ "It was an accident, nothing to be sad over." She nodded, captivated. "Can you be a helper dinosaur and fetch me some paper towels?"

She nodded, relieved, and ran over to the tiny sink to grab them. He looked over to Kyoko, who had her hand clamped over her mouth as well, but with delight in her eyes. _She's trying not to laugh._

All of the teachers, as well as Ren's and Kyoko's phones buzzed. Lio had sent them a message. _"Ren Tsuruga gets sauced at local daycare,"_ it said, with a picture of his stunned face and smeared polo. Kyoko couldn't help it, she snorted.

In the end, they didn't get to spend that much of the day together, but it didn't bother Ren too badly because they got to exchange looks and peek at each other. He also found the babies interesting - babies were supposed be cute, yes, but no one had ever told him just how fascinating they could be. _You can see their little heads trying to wrap around things. They try and they try, and sometimes they cry, but once you figure out what they were trying for, they get over it. Their pride doesn't get hurt._ And, when five o'clock rolled around, he could say with some degree of certainty that he could tell the difference between a "change my diaper" cry and a "I'm hungry" cry. _Or maybe it's because one tends to follow the other._

Most of the kids were gone by that time, leaving Ren with Haru and Sora. Haru was napping in a bassinet, and Sora should have been as well, but Ren cowed to the little boy and let him nestle in on his chest. Lio had left him to fill out child reports - what the kids ate, what they learned that day, how often they went to the bathroom, and so on. After Kyoko sent her last preschooler home, she tiptoed into the nursery.

She clasped her hands behind her back as if she was afraid she would disturb the peace. "Sleeping?" she asked softly.

"Both of them," he said, peering over to Haru's bassinet. "I feel like I'm going to need a long shower after this, they really kept me on my toes today."

With that, they heard movement in the bassinet. The movement turned in to the beginning of fussing. Haru was waking.

Kyoko's eyes went wide. "What do I do? She looks upset!"

"Pick her up. I think she's gassy." Ren eased himself out of the rocking chair, somehow managing to keep Sora asleep. "See my hands? Scoop her up like that, then you can take the rocking chair."

Panic was clearly starting to set in, but he could tell Kyoko saw it would be even harder to get Haru back down if she waited any longer. Kyoko slid her hands under Haru, who was pulling a foot back and getting ready to kick, but she leaned her on her chest in a fluid motion. She tip-toed over to the rocking chair and sat, rocking ever so gently. Haru was starting to settle, but she needed that final push. Kyoko patted her back.

Haru burped, and a little bit of spit-up followed. Kyoko's expression told him that she thought she broke the girl, but Haru gave a small sigh and quieted after that. Ren smiled, and, adjusting his grip, managed to free a hand to grab a towel and wipe the mess off of her shoulder. "I'm told it means she likes you," he quipped.

She smiled at that, then looked down to the girl and rubbed her back, as if she was proud of not just herself, but for the girl. Herself, for rising to the challenge, and the girl for... being her. Ren felt Sora begin to fidget, so he began to sway, and the boy stilled as well. He had meant to ask her about how the "Indoor Dinosaur" play ended up, or who spilled the paint during craft time, but he forgot because the quiet was so... nice. And at least, for him, he felt like he accomplished _something._ He fed them, and burped them, and changed their diapers, and put them to sleep. Somewhere inside of him, for once in his life, he felt like he had done _enough_. He and Kyoko were helping these two kids get some rest, so they can wake up and do their best to _be alive._ For the first time in weeks, his mind was quiet. _Maybe it's just the exhaustion._ But he doubted it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Turkey Day for all who celebrate! There's one more chapter at the daycare coming that I gotta polish up, but if you need more Ren and Kyoko being adorable with children, I implore you, check out [Sunshine of My Heart](https://archiveofourown.org/works/10659735/chapters/23591007)!


	19. That Bear Of A Woman

Haru's mom and Sora's father arrived at the same time. During the pass off, Sora woke, so Ren could tell him goodbye, however, Haru kept on sleeping, so when Kyoko said her goodbyes, Ren thought he saw tears threatening to escape again. He wrapped an arm around her and rubbed her back as the director ushered them along to take the press photo. She managed to shove it down and smile until she reached the safety of his car. She deflated instantaneously.

He grabbed her hand. "I'm sorry you didn't get to say a proper goodbye to Haru."

"It's not just that," she squeaked, and in the next moment, she was gone. Distant. The shell that he found on the streets of Tokyo after her mother disavowed her existence appeared before him once again. His mouth filled with bile as he tightened his grip.

"I had fun today," she managed. "I really did. And when one of them would fall, I'd panic, as if they were my own, but I knew I couldn't show that, or else they'd be afraid too. And Haru... the minute I held her, I knew I'd scold anyone who woke her. It didn't matter how much she threw up on me, she could sleep on me until she was fully rested. I knew that I'd cut down any enemy that dared to threaten her."

Ren's mind went in two directions simultaneously. _Does Kyoko want a baby?_ and _Did we watch some sort of samurai movie that put that imagery in her head?_ He forced himself to focus on her words.

"All of that. Within moments." Her face morphed. Her lips curled, her eyes narrowed, and in a rasp of disdain, she spat, "And my mother couldn't even -"

Her voice cut off when Ren grabbed her and pressed her into his chest. She howled. She cried. The sorrow twisted in her chest and came out of her in great heaves. She pounded on his chest, and he squeezed her tighter, burying his face in her hair. Her pain rattled in his chest, and tugged, _tore_ at his heart in a way he'd never felt before. He wanted to squeeze the pain out of her. _"Give it to me,"_ he remembered his mother saying. _"You don't deserve this. I'll take it all."_

He had yelled at her. He had tried to push her away, he had wanted her _out of his room_ , but that bear of a woman wouldn't budge.

A tear rolled down his cheek and on to Kyoko's hair. Followed by another, and another. She unburied herself from his chest, makeup destroyed, cheeks tear-streaked, and nose running. He pulled tissues out of his pocket, still there because Sora had a runny nose all day, and grabbing one at a time proved cumbersome. He offered them to him.

"Guess I should have done this while you were still in your polo," she joked, red-faced and puffy-eyed. "This shirt might prove harder to get the stains out."

He shrugged. "This material's softer though. Makes a better tissue."

She snorted. She still seemed empty, but at least she wasn't into that emptiness.

"Would you...like to talk to my parents?" he asked. She furrowed her brow. "They're...good at talking. About anything."

"Shouldn't they be asleep now?"

He shook his head. "You severely underestimate the Hizuris. Even if they are, they probably have a special ringtone for when I call, guaranteed to wake everyone in the neighborhood."

She smiled and nodded.

He dialed his mother and turned on the speakerphone.

The second ring didn't even finish before, "Kuon! _Mybabyhowareyou?!_ Kuu, come here! _"_

_"_ It's both of us, Mom. Kyoko's sitting next to me."

"Of course she is," his father said at the same time his mother said, " _Kyokomybabyhowareyou?"_

"Fine," she croaked. "How are you?'

A definitive pause on the other side of the phone cast doubt on that answer. "We volunteered at a daycare center today, we're both exhausted," Ren explained.

"Ugh, remember those days!" his father groaned at the same time his mother squeaked, "Pictures?!"

"After the call," Ren coaxed.

"Why are you still awake?" Kyoko asked, regaining her composure.

"Dinner party, very French, very, _we're going to take six hours to eat four courses of appetizers_ ," Julie groaned.

"And I'm still starving, so your mother was whipping me up some fried rice!" Kuu chimed.

Ren mimed gagging. "That definitely sounds like a party more of your son's speed," Kyoko chuckled.

"What are you two doing for dinner?" Kuu asked.

"Maybe we'll do fried rice too? I - I don't remember what we have to cook with at home - I mean, your apartment," she blushed, but this red was so much more preferable than the blotchy one from before.

This time, he heard his father squeak, and Julie scolded him faintly. He could picture it now, his mother holding the phone in the air, his father with the expression of a puppy who just peed on the carpet. Faintly, he could decipher, "Don't blow it! We can't pressure them!" and "I know, I know! I'm just so excited!"

Kuu cleared his throat. "Fried rice is hard to beat! Though I have a feeling you're going to be more tired than you expect, maybe some takeout?"

"And some red wine to relax," Julie added.

"She's a minor," Ren reminded her.

She scoffed. "She's a grown woman who spent the day keeping kids from endangering themselves. Spanish reds, Kuon. I guarantee you can find some in Tokyo."

Kyoko gave him a curious look. "Maybe... that would be nice?"

Julie squeaked this time. "Watch it!" Kuu admonished.

" _Orevenazin!_ " she burst. "Zinfandels are excellent for introduction as well. And when you come to L.A., we can do a proper wine tasting -"

"Julie!"

"Right!" Julie's tone turned innocent. "Actually, speaking of which... are you two working around Christmas? I know it's so far away, but maybe if we can swing it, you two can come to visit? Trade pine trees for palm?"

"We attend Maria's Grateful Day party every year," Ren explained. "Evening of the twenty-fourth, that rolls into the twenty-fifth, and that's Kyoko's birthday, so it's like -"

Both Kyoko and Ren flinched at the sounds of Julie's shriek. " _KuonIwouldputyouinttimeoutrightnowifyouwerehere,_ you didn't _tell me she was a Christmas baby!"_

"Do you want to come to the party?" Kyoko asked, then panicked. _She's worried about my secret._

"I'm sure Maria would be happy to extend two more invitations your way," Ren said quickly. "Regardless of how we explain it." _Worse comes to worst, my parents are always up for a disguise._

"Yes!" they roared in unison.

"Julie, is something burning?"

"Ah! We've got to go, sweeties, we love you so much _thankyouthankyoubye!"_

The call ended.

Kyoko was still smiling. "What takeout food goes good with Spanish red wine?" she asked.

He pressed his lips together. "I haven't the faintest idea. Pizza?"


	20. Wait For Me

Kyoko had managed to get at least some rest last night. She wasn't sure if it was the full belly or sheer exhaustion, but she was nearly asleep by the time she found the bed, and Ren held her all night. Not in the way where you hold each other until you drift off, then roll over, but in the way where Ren couldn't possibly have slept through her fitfulness.

Her bleary eyes were why she jumped when she saw her LoveMe locker wallpapered with pages from a tabloid. "LoveMe #1 Traitor" was written on one of them in red ink, but it didn't cover the photo on the page. Horror and fear crept up on her until she recognized the photo - Ren, carrying a perfectly swaddled bundle, and Kyoko, smiling, paintbrush in hand. Ren was looking at her lovingly. She gave a sigh of relief and started to pry up the tape carefully.

"We stuck a real copy in your locker, no need to be so careful with it," a voice said from behind her that caused her to jump. She wheeled around to see Kanae, arms crossed and a smirk on her face. "Gah, you're oblivious! I've been standing here the whole time!"

"Moko! Thank goodness," she put a hand on her heart. "Let me guess, Chidori's idea?"

"I was a very willing participant, but yes, she was the mastermind." Kanae crossed over to help Kyoko free her locker. "How was it?"

"Good. Exhausting, but...just a lot of feelings crept up."

Kanae slowed, in the middle of prying up a piece of tape. "You are on the rise, Kyoko. You're a skilled, young actress and you shouldn't squander that just because he looks good holding a baby."

"What?!" Kyoko ended up tearing the pages she was holding on to. "No, no, absolutely _not!_ I meant about my mother, I don't want to get _pregnant!"_

 _"Good!"_ Kanae yelled back, wild-eyed. "Don't! Don't listen to these ridiculous excuses for articles! You're more than a baby-making factory, you have skills and talent!"

Kyoko stared at her, bewildered. "That's what these things have been saying? I haven't looked. I just kept getting distracted this morning. And just like, dealing with the fact that I thought Mom broke the part of me that could handle kids."

Kanae swallowed and looked at Kyoko. Her expression softened. "Of course she didn't. That's ridiculous." She turned back to the locker. "Kids are chaos, even when they aren't yours. Loud, sticky, and there's always some sort of smear on your clothes that you don't know the origin or contents of. Stay away."

Kyoko smiled. "I promise!"

"Ugh, don't _promise,"_ she said with a wave of her hand. "That's just a jinx. Just...be careful. Make _him_ be careful." Kanae's cheeks burned.

"MOKO!" she begged. "You are my best friend and I know that _that's_ what girls talk about but _I'm not ready oh god I'm not ready_ -"

"Good! I don't _want_ to talk about it! Save it for Amamiya when you do."

"Chiori-chan...? Nevermind!"

"Let's change the subject!" Kanae finished ripping off the last full sheet on the locker. "I have a question for you, anyway. What do you know about... Hikaru Ishibashi?"

Kyoko lit up. "He's great! Hard-working, courteous, prompt, and makes everybody feel comfortable. He's excellent to work with!" _Is Moko going to be a guest on the show?_

Kanae's face stilled, as if she was fighting a reaction. "And what about outside of work?" _Or...or are they going to go out on a date?!_

"He's...actually, I don't know for certain! Hikaru-kun's has invited me to go out with them a few times, but I've never made it. But, he's well-liked, and the leader of the band, so he clearly great!" Kyoko felt a giddiness bubble inside of her.

Kanae's expression turned furious. "'Them' or 'him'?" she asked, in barely-contained anger. "Did he ask you to go out with _him_ or with _the band?_ "

"The band! The band...I think?" Kyoko panicked. "Wha... what's the difference?"

Kanae sighed, slumped on the bench, and pulled out his phone. "Clueless as always. Well, the thought was nice while it lasted, but this isn't going to happen."

"No, Moko, no!" Kyoko grabbed the hand clutching her phone. "What do you _mean?_ Did he ask you out on a date? Don't cancel, please!"

Kanae ripped her hand away. "He had a crush on _you_ , Kyoko. And now that you're super-official with Ren freaking _Tsuruga,_ he's finding himself a rebound to make himself feel better. That is _not me._ " She started typing furiously on her phone.

Kyoko threw herself on the ground. " _No, no please wait!_ Moko, I don't think that's true, but even if it is, he's so lucky! He has a chance to go out with you, and you're so perfect he'll forget anything about whatever he thought about me besides a 'she's a great co-worker!' I know it! Any man would be lucky to go out with a woman like you! Or any woman, Any... _any person!"_

Kanae raised an eyebrow. "Even Tsuruga?"

Kyoko grew quiet. "Moko...Moko that's not even funny, please -"

Kanae snorted. "It's a _joke_. Hell, you'd have to be mad to want to get involved with _that_ mess. But you're both a mess, so it's fine."

Kyoko sighed in relief and stood. "So, you'll go out with Hikaru-kun?"

Kanae looked at the message on her phone, long-pressed to select her message, and deleted it. "One date. And if he doesn't offer to pay for everything, I leave immediately."

Kyoko wrapped her in a hug. " _Mokoyou'regoingtohavesomuchfunyoudeserveanicetimeandhe'saniceguyIswear!"_

Kanae pushed her off. "One more word on it and I cancel for real!"

Kyoko jumped back and calmed herself. She mimed zipping her mouth shut, locking it with a key, and then swallowing the key.

"You can't swallow it if you zipped your mouth shut!" Kanae grabbed the imaginary key and tossed it in a corner. "Continuity, mo, continuity!"

* * *

Kyoko insisted on cooking that night, so she texted Ren fervently to not eat the leftover pizza before she got home. _"Your nutrition has been atrocious lately, and this constant takeout ends now!"_

_"But, I can finish the rest of the wine before you come home? It's fruit, you know."_

Her stomach fluttered in delight at him calling it "home", not "my apartment", so she couldn't manage a properly worded response. _"ASDFJ'ASDFJ'SFK'LJASF'LKK NO."_

He sent a picture of his puppy dog face.

 _"Wait. For. Me."_ was her stern reply.

When she arrived, Ren was enjoying a glass of wine while he was setting out a cutting board. "Your _mise en place_ is ready, Chef," he said with a smile. He was right, all of her cooking supplies were neatly arranged in the kitchen for optimum efficiency.

"Don't spoil me, Ren," she said as she shucked her jacket and her shoes off. "I'll get too used to it."

He raised an eyebrow and fished another wine glass out of the cabinet. "Not a very compelling argument." He filled her a small glass and sat it by the cutting board. "Here. Mother loves to cook with a drink in her hand."

Kyoko went to the sink and started washing her hands. "Isn't it distracting?"

"Immensely. However, she claims that enjoying cooking is just as important as enjoying the food."

"Sounds alright," Kyoko conceded. "I'll try it. But, I've got news!" she said, bouncing on her heels as she dried her hand.

"News? A new job?" he asked, leaning on the counter. She could get used to this, recounting their day together as she cooked. _It couldn't last. His schedule will vary so much, and mine too if I keep working hard._ _But maybe...maybe it's something we can work in when we can._ He looked so at home this way.

" _Moko's going on a date!_ " she exclaimed. "With Hikaru-kun!"

Ren chuckled. "Hikaru...Ishibashi? From Kimagure Rock?"

"Yes!" she started dancing and shaking the hand towel. _How is he not just as excited? Love is in bloom, Ren!_ "He's such a great guy, and Moko-san is just the _epitome of feminine beauty and grace_. And she may not believe it, but between the band and the show, Hikaru-kun probably works just about as hard as her, and they both deserve to go out and have _fun_! I can't remember the last time Moko took the time to just go enjoy herself! And Hikaru-kun is really good about that, inviting everyone out, making sure everyone's having a good time..."

"You've gone out with Ishibashi?" A slight edge crept into his voice, the smallest hint that she knew she'd heard before. _Why, why did I say it like that? Stupid Moko, putting words in my head!_

"No! No, no, no, see, I always made myself work too hard and never let myself join the band and the rest of the crew on outings!"

He shook his head. "Right. Sorry. Anyway, continue to expound the virtues of both of them so I can better determine which one to be more jealous of."

 _Curses! Does he know what Moko's theory was? Did someone overHEAROHNO -_ "Wait! What do you mean?"

He took a deep breath. "You're gushing over both of them, and I can't recall a time you've ever spoken so highly of me. What do you _think_ I was referring to?"

Kyoko swallowed. He took a step closer. "I recall us having a long discussion about communication and not letting our minds run wild in that tea shop." Another step closer and the Emperor ran a finger along her cheek. "Honesty is the best policy, we agreed, did we not?"

She swallowed again, not because she was scared, but because she could actually enjoy being captured by the Emperor. The same sense of being _in trouble_ caught her, but what could possibly be the worst part? _The Emperor seduces. But I know the man behind him would never let anything happen to me, so..._ She knew where she'd land, so she had no fear of falling. It was _thrilling_ , but he was right. It wasn't time to be a schoolgirl, trying to cause mischief.

"Moko...thinks...that...he had a crush on me for a while."

There was conflict in his eyes for the moment, the let his hand drop. "Did he now?"

"I don't actually, uh, know?" she replied, the heat that was bubbling in her reducing to a simmer. It left her disappointed. _Oh, no. Did I think that was...fun? Him getting jealous?_ She shook her head vigorously as if trying to shake off the feeling.

His arm snaked past her waist and grabbed the sink behind her. The glint in his eye returned. _"Kyoko,"_ he hummed. "We even agreed that certain behaviors would be justified in order to enforce it. You, force-feeding me and lecturing, naturally, and I -" His other hand grabbed the sink as well, but he didn't touch her. Not yet. She could feel herself begin to ache. "Get to used my most _persuasive_ _skills."_

Her breath hitched. "It-it's's nothing about Ishibashi, I promise. I - I got ... distracted ... by your..." She was suddenly incredibly aware of the heaviness of her chest, feeling every rise and fall, and how it very much wasn't being touched by him.

The glint turned mischievous. She could see it now, when he wasn't wearing his contacts, it was clearly Kuon poking his head out now. "Did you just _enjoy_ making me jealous?"

"It _certainly_ wasn't my intention, but..." Her breathing slowed as she watched him. It would be easy to back out now, to apologize for letting impure thoughts taint their efforts to be more transparent. She knew the words, they were on the tip of her tongue, but she didn't say them. Not because she was afraid. She just didn't _want_ to.

"Sometimes, you learn new things along the way?" he offered, velvet-smooth.

She nodded slowly, letting her bottom lip catch on her teeth as she looked up through her lashes.

His arms closed in around her, grabbing her thighs and lifting. Her breath caught in her throat, and it came out as a pleased gasp. She wrapped her arms around his neck and crushed his mouth with hers, but he fought back for dominance. He relented when he finally felt Kyoko's ankles cross behind his back.

"That's a new trick," he said, breathless. "Or have you always enjoyed getting me riled up over you?" He pulled her in closer on the word _riled._

"You know me," she replied innocently. "Would I have known any better back then?" She ran her hands along his collar. "All I really knew that everything was better if I could keep an eye on you."

"Agreed," he said brushing her neck with his nose. She shivered in a way that reached her core. "I'm not proud of it, the way I had to fight my urge to possess you. To devour you would be a waste." He kissed the skin below her ear.

Goosebumps raised on her arms, and she knew she could relieve them if she just leaned in. "But, I'm already yours, and you're mine, so, that won't happen. But..."

He looked up at her curiously, as if she had distracted him from her neck. "But what?"

"H-hypothetically..." She felt a surge run through her at the idea of even asking. "What if you wanted to..."

He raised an eyebrow, still looking up at her. "Possess you?"

She nodded, heat prickling in her chest. The grip on her thighs loosened slightly. "You have to understand... That would have never been something Ren Tsuruga could have handled. You...were always the domain of Kuon."

"Show me what that means," she challenged. She feared he'd balk; she'd have to prove to him that he could show her those feelings. She needed to be able to do that at least, and she was so reluctant to let _him_ leave without getting a chance to explore himself.

He swallowed. "Alright." He carried her to the couch and let her slide out of his grasp to sit her on the couch. His hair hung in his face for a moment, unreadable, and she feared she pushed too far. When he met her glance again, however, the playful, predatory look returned. As if something delicious was in front of him, and he'd convince her to walk right into his mouth. Her fingertips tingled.

He leaned over her, resting a hand on the backrest. "You see, growing up, Kuon's looks always -"

"Your looks," she corrected, quickly, firmly. It made him pause for a moment before he slipped back into his cadence.

"My looks. My appearance caused derisive comments from most men. But women... tended to look my way. Other men looked like neanderthals in comparison." A lock of hair fell on his face. His other hand touched gently on the corner of his eye. "Blonde hair, bright green eyes on refined features." His finger slid along his cheekbone, and Kyoko felt the need to trace it as well, but she held back. That hand found the couch as well, framing her in.

She watched him with bated breath. "Still towering over them though. Still _stronger_ than their boyfriends. I was always _more_ , a wild dog who could be tamed. They thought the could groom me, just the right refinement to make me presentable, and they could have it all. They never understood that a dog..." He leaned in closer, back to her ear, the lightest brush of his hair against her cheek sending warmth deep inside of her. "Needs the right incentive. Needs to salivate at the prospect in front of them to roll over on their belly." His breath on her ear set her nerves on fire, and she knew she could kiss him, he was driving her _mad_ , but she hadn't seen enough yet.

One of his hands stroked down the back of the couch, following the line of her arm, but not actually touching it. "A wild dog doesn't want an owner, he wants a mate. And he knows he can find someone to match him in some prim and proper one, who thinks she's domesticated." His nose ghosted along her cheek, again, so close, but not touching her. "But really..." He was a hair's breadth away from her. "She's still wild. She just hasn't found the right one to show yet. She'd tear anyone else apart."

She lunged to kiss him, but he pulled away at the last moment. It made the aching grow, her lips still parted as she watched him, desperation creeping in. It fed him.

He smirked and shook his head ever so slightly. "No, no, that wouldn't have have been enough to convince you in the past. Your guard was too high." He took a lock of her hair, ever so gently moving it out of her eyes. "It would take a mountain of effort to get past you, to convince you to let yourself just be, just want, just need. To need me."

His hand rested near her thighs, and she knew he was right - she would have never acknowledged how much she'd have wished for him to touch her before then. Her leg twitched outward, involuntarily, but the hand moved and found a sliver of the couch between her legs to perch on instead.

"You would have had to be convinced, Kyoko. You would need to find it irrefutable how much you needed me, to begin to comprehend how much I need you. Because I'd make you think I can see it. Can _smell_ it, as if it wafted off of you like smoke off of a fire. Kuon's gasoline, Kyoko, he's -"

She trapped his hand between her thighs. _"You,"_ she corrected, more firmly this time before releasing it once again. He exhaled, slightly, then nodded in concession. He pushed off of the couch to stand.

"You have to pour the gasoline on yourself, Kyoko, to properly enjoy the burn." Raising his chin, the buttons came undone, painstakingly, one at a time, revealing taut skin, rising and falling with every breath. She tore her gaze away from his path downward to find his face again. His hair veiled his eyes for the most part, but the need there was still there, still drawing her in as if her very presence was all it took to make his heart race.

She swallowed hard. It's how she felt about him for certain, but for him to feel the same? It was agony. But something unsettled her, something felt wrong, because if it was him just acting on his feelings, then did he hate the intensity of them? _He thinks it's a burden. Too much. Still._

She ran a hand down her own leg and grabbed the inside of her thigh. His shirt fell to the floor. He ran a hand down his own neck, to find the spot she had marked so long ago. His other hand grabbed his belt, and he raked his nails along his neck. She crept her hand further up her thigh and stroked her panties. She shivered - it was nice, but it wasn't the _same._ The red lines on his neck called to her; she could soothe them with her mouth. _Or replace them. With my own. Something darker. Something from me._

 _"_ It's intoxicating, Kyoko. Finding someone who can match you. Finding someone who burns as bright, someone who fights as hard." The sound of leather leaving his belt buckle seemed so loud as if she had primed herself for it. She had _wanted_ to hear that sound. His belt hung open, and she felt a sense of _rightness_ when she saw the bulge forming. "You can't lose them. I couldn't have risked you going some other way. You would have had to _need_ me."

Her finger slipped inside of herself. She was already starting to feel slick, but her fingers felt cold in comparison to how flushed his cheeks were. His lips parted ever so slightly, and she could see the slightest peek of his tongue. She hooked her finger inside of herself, but it was all _wrong._ A small whine escaped her.

Satisfied, he sauntered over, the sound of the buckle clinking making her mouth water.

"That's it. There it is. Possession isn't about raising you up, making you know just how special you are. It's about making you believe that however good you feel, it'll never be the same without _me."_ He reached down and cupped her face in his hands. His touch was fire, and the closer they would get, the further it would spread, and she was ready to burn. She was _his_ , and she could show him just how much he needed her. She grabbed the waist of his pants and tugged open the button, finding his erection clad in black silk. She ran a hand up the smooth fabric and looked up at him. He hissed in delight, still watching her. He stroked her cheek with a thumb, and then tugged her to stand. He captured her in a kiss. She tugged at his waistband to bring him closer to her, so she could feel his tongue and his length press at her in desire.

He dropped his hips lower to meet her and began to rock his hips. It felt _good_ , it began to scratch at her itch, but it wasn't enough.

She grabbed her skirt and set it floating to the ground and her panties followed suit, so it was better, she could feel him getting slick through his fabric and his breath growing ragged. He pulled back and growled, "Wait for me." He slipped off to the bedroom, and Kyoko felt almost cold with him gone, but she needed to act fast. She needed to make it clear just how far she would go for him. How intensely she needed him, how she _chose_ to need him.

Her shirt and bra found the floor as well and she sat on the armrest of the couch, massaging her own breasts as he returned, condom in hand. His pupils consumed the green at the sight of her on display, and the condom quickly found a home on the back of the couch so he could grab her breasts. She had begun to stiffen under her own touch, but the smallest of thumb grazes from him made them almost painfully sharp. Everything about drawing this out was sharp, she was so very close to edges and she was aching to throw herself off of any of them.

"Inpatients only leads to frustration," he purred, slipping one of his hands between her legs to find her already wet. "Learn by example. Study me, Kyoko, watch me." He thrust two fingers into her with no resistance and she whined. They hooked inside of her, tugging at her senses, and his palm pressed into her clit. She knew he could, she could give in and ride his hand once again, but she wanted _more_. She needed to make him come.

When she could hear the movement of his fingers slick inside of her, she pried at his pants once again. "Turn around," he asked, low and tentatively. "Please."

She did, and his hand stayed inside of her as she bent over the armrest. Her nerves were on fire, her fingertips feeling every thread of the fabric of the couch. A wild part of her hoped he'd spank her, but the request caught in her throat as she heard the but hit the floor and the condom wrapper rip.

The length of him pressed against her once again, and she growled in frustration. She pushed into him, and he hissed, bending over her. He found her clit, and with his free hand, covered one of Kyoko's on the couch.

His cock sent a wave through her as he stretched her. His breath was hot on her back and she gasped in appreciation, she was finally, _finally,_ where she needed to be. Where she needed _him_ to be. His first thrust already made her pulse, a quiver as the tide picked up. As his pace quickened, she sunk deeper into the couch, which meant he could reach deeper and deeper parts of her. It made her see stars, so she dug her fingers into the couch. His grip tightened, and when her legs started to give out, he groaned and buried his face in her back.

She was tempted to collapse right there, but when she felt Ren's breathing and pace slow, methodically, she bucked her hips back into him. He wasn't _done,_ and she wouldn't be content until then.

He moaned and grabbed her hips to steady himself. The quick, furious thrusts were almost soothing in her bliss-filled state, and the slapping promised him to be just as sweaty and spent as her. With a final gasp, he curled into her, his teeth grazing her back, and he fell into her.

Panting he said, "Sorry," and kissed the spot on her back. "Sorry."

"Don't," she warned. "No...apologies." Her mouth felt fuzzy, her head dizzy, and her legs weak. She gave a small laugh. "I'm stuck."

He unwound form her and laid her on the couch, someone managing to curl himself around her and face her. He draped an arm over her. "Are you...was that...okay?" He was studying her again. _Looking for cracks?_

 _"_ More than okay," she breathed. "But still might NG it. Make you try again. From the top."

He chuckled. "Very well. But if that's the case, I'll need to order craft services. Keep the crew happy."

She stuck her tongue out at him and brushed the hair out of his eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter can eat my shorts - half of it didn't get synced after I finished it, so I had to re-write it! I blame Kuon. He will pay for this! He will get SO MUCH character development, and he is going to have to WORK FOR IT! *shakes fist*


	21. Show Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not gonna lie, this chapter had me spinning my wheels for a long time. Thanks to persephonekyoko for beta-ing to see if it made sense! All grammar issues are mine though, because I'm posting while still literally sick and tired.

A few days had passed since she saw Kuon, but something about it still bothered her. _I don't think that side of him is as terrible as he thinks._ It was foolish to think she could show him that with one _encounter_ , but she still knew he was holding back. _And that fear isn't going to change unless he opens up more to me._ She at least felt she understood why he was so hesitant because she was understanding just how vulnerable sex could make you feel. She was still adamant that he'd never hurt her, but even so, she thought she could understand how even deriving a single moment of pleasure from someone else's pain in such a way could be catastrophic. _He's not seeing himself clearly. If I can help him do that, then maybe he'll trust himself._

"Ren," she asked tentatively one evening after dinner. She didn't know how she was supposed to ask this, didn't know how anyone ever talked about this subject, but their new policy was to talk. She had to find a way somehow. He looked at her as if she were just about ready to ask what the weather would be like tomorrow.

"You... you enjoy our... time together, right?"

He furrowed his brow. "I'm using all of my mental capacity right now to stop myself from speculating what you mean, but there's a time limit on how long that is possible."

She flushed and sputtered for a moment before she pointed to the bedroom. "In...there! That... time!"

His eyebrows buried themselves in his bangs. "Naturally. But something makes you doubt that?"

She bit her lip, then tried to force the words out. "I...wait." Somehow, the room itself felt oppressive, so she grabbed Ren's wrist and towed him into the bedroom. If she was going to talk about bedroom topics, that would make it more appropriate, right?

She ran her finger through her hair. "I just.. I feel like... it's like acting! Like a really good actor can make their partner forget that they're in a scene, they're just reacting! Like you did in Ring Doh."

Ren was still frozen, arm held out as if she were still holding it. "I... assure you I am not pretending?"

"No! It's just..." Her face was on fire. "I know I don't know hardly anything about this, and I will throw myself off of this building if I try to think about how much practice you have had -"

He winced. She waved her hands a panic. "No, I just mean I don't know what I'm... looking for! But I think... that you don't lose yourself like I do." Her heart was hammering in her chest. "In the moment, I feel like I stop caring if I'm doing something right and do it. And I think you care very deeply if it's right. I think... you think a lot."

His posture softened, and he grabbed the back of his neck. "I do. " He sat on the edge of the bed and folded his hands. "It's... I - I don't want..." His cheeks were reddening. "I don't want you to regret it. You deserve everything. To feel worshiped and safe and happy always. I can't bear the idea of doing something to you -" His grip tightened on his neck. "In a way that would ever upset you."

"Ren..." she whispered, and then, "Kuon. You're referring to that side."

"The one that doesn't think," he said softly. "He makes mistakes."

"Everyone makes mistakes. But no part of you would hurt me like that." She sat next to him on the bed.

"I don't think so either, but I can't risk it. Even if I did, I don't know how." He rested his head on her shoulder. "I have been trying to be Ren Tsuruga for a long time. To show no weakness, and..." He fidgeted with his bottom lip for a moment. "Sex makes that difficult. I... demanded myself to be the perfectly considerate gentlemen. In retrospect, was more akin to me thinking I was providing a service. Ladies first, and second, and third, if you will."

The thought made Kyoko blanch until she felt him shiver himself. "Always putting on a show. I thought it was the right thing to do. But it wasn't real. Only you are real in that sense and I can't... it's too much. It's all too much, and not your burden."

She shook her head vigorously. "Come on. It's not it's not fair of you to hold that back from me, right? It's like... breaking our effort to be more honest. Communication isn't just verbal. You speak with your body too. I want to know what it has to say."

He gave a weak chuckle. "Even if I tried, it's hard to break old habits. When we... what we did before. You saw. I could barely even refer to myself as Kuon without needing to be reminded."

"Well, how did you handle it before?" She had to force the word out. "Your urges. I don't believe you just have that good of self-restraint to never --" She fidgeted with the hem of her skirt. "Make yourself feel good."

He sighed a long, extended sigh. "Honesty," he said and sat up. "One hundred percent." She felt as if he were searching her expression. "Doesn't necessitate needing to know everything right now."

Her eyes darted to the broken watch on his wrist. "No, it doesn't. But it also requires faith that when I ask, I'm ready."

He closed his eyes for a moment and pressed his lips together. "A Kyoko with her eyes wide open is quite the formidable opponent." He opened his eyes. "Very well." He rose and went to his bedside table and fished out a key. He proceeded to get on his knees and pull out a wooden box from the bottom frame of the bed. He unlocked it with the key but held it closed for a moment.

"There are things... I never wanted anyone to know about. They had to be tucked away safely." He ran a hand over his mouth. "To avoid any guests, or housekeepers, or anyone from finding out. Personal, private use. Exclusively for myself." He flushed a bit. "But, if you'd - I'd..."

Kyoko stared at him, bewildered. "I don't know what that means until I know what it is."

He stared at the lid of the box. "I want to be more open with you. I promise." He sighed. "I wish I wasn't this complicated. I wish it'd never have come to this."

"Ren," she said, and he looked up. "I love you. All of the pieces of you, even the parts that are still hidden. Please show me."

He looked down opened the box. Inside was a navy-blue, silicone wedge, with a sizeable, round ring towards one end. He was almost sweating when she noticed the switch on the side.

"Oh," she whispered. "Oh, it's, oh.. oh... oh." Her body lit on fire as the image of him, sprawled out on the bed and writhing under his own hand burned into her mind.

"It's helpful," he confessed. "It lets me forget myself." He glanced up and watched her expression. "I'm not a pervert, I swear, it's just a thing that --"

"No," she held up her hands. "If anyone's the pervert, it's me. My mind just jumped to what that -- "

She saw his Adam's apple bob as he swallowed. "Do you want..." His breath hitched. "To see?"

"Not if it's private!" She flinched and looked away. "I'm sorry! This is an invasion of your privacy! It's for your personal time, and it's not my place."

His hand rested on hers tentatively, but every fingertip made her skin burn. "It doesn't have to be. Not with you. I don't want to hide things from you. It's just that I'm not used to it. It takes practice."

Her eyes darted up to meet his. "Practice. Let's practice." The words nearly made her dizzy.

He set the box to the side and put his hand on his collar. "You're sure? You want to see?"

She nodded. Her mouth was already watering, and she didn't trust herself to speak.

His hands trembled as he undid his buttons, and then he laid his shirt on his nightstand. She could hear his belt jingle as he unfastened it, and her palms began to sweat. _It would be weird if he was the only one undressed, right? But I'm just observing..._ She frantically removed her skirt and shirt and heaped them on the floor, taking a seat on the edge of the bed. Ren's eyes went wide when he turned around, but nodded and took a seat in the middle of the bed. "I normally have just watched a movie or a show, not, not something lewd. But something with some intimacy. It puts me in a place that --"

She held a hand up. "You don't have to explain. You can just..." She bit her lip. He nodded and laid down on the bed. He ran a hand along his chest, exhaling deeply. He clearly wasn't _mentally_ where he needed to be, so he rubbed his hands along his thighs and closed his eyes. It felt indulgent to just look at him this way, wearing nothing, hiding nothing. To be able to follow the planes of his body, from his clavicle, down the lines of his corded forearms, to the muscles in his thighs wrote stories in her mind.

His eyes closed and he continued to explore himself, slow fingers stretching and gripping his lower chest and hips, touching everything but the part of him starting to stir. Kyoko felt heat coil in her gut, and she knew she should think it was lewd. This was how he acted when he was alone, or as close as he could with her present. But there was something beautiful in his reaction, in seeing him focus on himself and try to find a deeper part. _And seeing something from him he can't even see himself._ He gripped his thighs and she remembered feeling them pressed against her own.

Kyoko squeezed her legs together.

Eventually, he touched himself, and Kyoko swallowed when she saw him twitch. She had felt it before, but somehow this was more real. Him stiffening under his own touch excited her in a way she didn't think possible. He grabbed the ring and slid it deftly over himself, the wedge tucking under his testicles. It confused her for a moment until she heard it hum to life. His back arched almost instantly as he gasped. He wrapped a hand around his length and began to stroke himself, still trying to force his eyes to stay closed. She slid a hand between her own legs as his tip began to glisten. She couldn't help herself - he was unraveling before her and she was being undone herself.

He slicked himself with his precome and then resumed patient, long strokes. A low hum escaped him as he gripped his thigh with his other hand. Kyoko slid her own hand between her legs. Gradually, his strokes quickened into a greedy pace and she stroked her clit in kind. His other hand found his balls and stroked them as well. Even watching his chest heave made it impossible for Kyoko to not touch herself.

She risked standing up enough to slide her own panties off. It felt _so wrong_ for her to be indulging herself when he was supposed to be the main focus, but the way his flush ran from his face to his chest and the small moans escaping him was all too tempting. She had to keep herself occupied lest she became overwhelmed and attempt to join him. But as she sat back down on the bed, the shift of the mattress was enough for him to open his eyes.

Once again, she should have felt remorse, but his eyes were full of lust and begging her to join him. It was as if the Emperor had finally been caught under his own spell. He reached a hand towards her, and without a second thought, she crawled up to meet him. He guided her to sit on top of him, not bothering to slide inside of her. Feeling the vibrations of the ring had her crying out almost instantly. He wrapped his hands around her hips and began thrusting against her fervently. Overwhelmed, she fell against his chest and gasped against his hot flesh. It was overpowering: the vibrations she could feel through him, the heat coursing through her as he slid against her clit, and the heaving of his chest as he moaned and panted desperately. She had no strength left to give, but she did manage to open her mouth and suck on his chest. In mere moments, he was grunting in fierce succession, the space between them getting stickier and stickier. When he finally relaxed his body and the grip on her hips, the buzzing of the cock ring was nearly painful before he turned it off.

Breathing heavily, he laced his fingers in her hair and kissed her fiercely. "That's better," he gasped. "God, that's so much better." His eyes focused. "Was that okay?"

"I'm the one who should be asking," she said, too flushed to blush. "I... interfered."

"Enhanced," he said and kissed her. "Improved," he said and kissed her neck.

Even that slightest touch lit Kyoko's nerves on fire. Part of her was aching to have him inside of her, but the other part had never felt more satiated in her life. Seeing him indulge himself was a treasure that was hers and hers alone. She slid off of him and hugged his side. He freed himself from the ring. She ran her fingers along the outside of his eyes, realizing what she was seeing. Only a few times in her life had she seen him so free of tension and at peace with where he was. Her caress caused his eyes to drift shut. He pulled her closer into him and tried to tuck into her shoulder, but she chuckled. "Ren, a towel? And a blanket?"

He opened his eyes and tried to sit up, only to flop flat on the bed. "Can't. Stuck." He started to close his eyes again, so she poked his ribs and freed herself.

"It's taking all of my willpower to not think of how terrible it will be to wash these sheets, but I cannot abide by getting adhered to them." She dodged into the bathroom to find a towel. When she returned, he had half-heartedly retrieved the blanket, pulling it over part of his leg. She balled up the towel and chucked it at his abdomen.

Once he was clean, he pulled her into him again. "Couldn't find a pillow?" she chided, eyeing them at the top of the bed as she pulled the blanket over them.

"I already have a body pillow," he murmured into her skin.


	22. So Foolish

She had never been more eager to arrive at the studio then she was that day. She arrived early enough to not have to hop straight into the chicken suit and bolted to the break room instead. Shinichi and Yuusei were sitting at a table chatting jovially. "Hello!" she greeted with barely contained enthusiasm.

"Hello, Kyoko-chan," Shinichi said with a smile.

"Kyoko-chan, you look just as happy as Hikaru," Yuusei said. "You already got the details from Kotonami-san?"

Kyoko grew confused. " I haven't. We were supposed to meet up after filming today. I was actually hoping to poke Hikaru for details. Where is he?"

Shinichi snorted. "Probably making out in the dressing room. Kotonami came and grabbed him a few minutes ago."

"You'd think kissing him last night would have been enough, but no, apparently Hikaru's got some animal magnetism," Yuusei quipped.

Betrayal threatened Kyoko to her core, but something seemed off. Something about the brothers' assessment rang false. "Moko-san and Hikaru-kun kissed on their date? And he told you?"

"Oh yeah," Shinichi said, leaning back in his chair. "And she kissed him! He didn't say as much but it was obvious. He turned as pink as your overalls when I guessed so."

Kyoko's insides ran cold. She couldn't possibly rejoice in Kanae making a connection if these boys' careless words drove Kanae to sever it. "Does Moko-san know you know?" she asked in a low voice.

Yuusei leaned forward and furrowed his brow. "What does that matter?"

Kyoko clenched a first. _How could they be so foolish?_ "It matters very much if you don't want to be down a brother! Kanae is an extremely private person! She would hate people gossiping about a single date!"

The joy slipped from the boys' faces. Shinichi's voice withered. "He was on the phone with her. That's why it was so easy to get a reaction."

"We have to save them!" Kyoko exclaimed. She ran out of the room, the boys following hot on her heels. She could practically feel Moko's fury radiating from one of the rooms, the rumble of her diatribe making Kyoko panic. _No, no, no! Don't punish him for Shinichi's and Yuusei's joke!"_

She ripped open the door to see Kanae, face curled in a red snarl, not a hair out of place. Hikaru held his hands up, a bead of sweat rolling down his face. They whipped around to stare at the intruders.

Kyoko beat Moko to the punch. "He didn't tell them! Yuusei and Shinichi were teasing him; he was just taken by surprise!"

"Hika's a terrible liar!" Shinichi added. "We basically ambushed him"

Yuusei nodded emphatically. "Spare him. Spare him and we'll never tease him about his romantic life again."

The anger on Kanae's face morphed to skepticism. Then, she looked at Hikaru and studied him for a moment. She sighed. "I see. But it won't be my problem if you break that promise I suppose."

Hikaru's eyes grew panicked. "You don't want to go on a second date? Even though I'm innocent?"

She raised an eyebrow at him. "You still want to go out with me after I just yelled at you for something you didn't do?"

Kyoko held her breath.

Hikaru smiled, relieved. "Yeah. I really do."

A wrinkle formed between her eyes as if she was fighting a smile. As always, she won and her expression relaxed. "Okay. Let's sort out the details later, but I know for sure we need to work on your poker face."

Hikaru's grin widened. Kanae huffed and said, "All Brothers out of the dressing room! I need to talk to Kyoko."

Shinichi furrowed his brow. "But this is Hikaru's --"

Hikaru shook his head and said, "Let's go! Out out out!" The boys left and only when the door closed did Kanae sigh and slump into a chair.

Kyoko took a deep breath. _It's okay. I didn't tell her about Ren and me for so long._ "You kissed him? On your first date?"

Kanae ran a hand down her face. "I know. I _know._ He just... I don't want to say he's shallow, but it's just... there. If he's happy, he's happy. If he's annoyed, you can see it. He's not... complicated." She shook her head. "That's not even the right way to explain it. When we were on our date, I wasn't constantly trying to figure out what he was thinking. I could just _tell_ because he was just so present. And not that he was gawking, he was listening! I could talk about acting craft and he was genuinely interested. More than just the shallow things you guys talk about on Kimagure Rock with guests."

It took all of Kyoko's willpower to not start jumping for joy. Yes, her friend was incredibly distressed but even Kyoko knew that everything Kanae was saying were _good_ things. Kanae just had to believe it herself.

Kanae grabbed the back of her neck. "And when he started talking about music, about his craft, he was so passionate. He wasn't showing off himself, he was showing off the joys and complexities of _music._ " The slightest blush colored her cheeks. "I can't believe it. I kissed him because I got carried away with him _geeking out._ "

Kyoko smiled. "There's nothing wrong with that! You know, I used to hate Ren until I learned about the depths of his love of acting."

Kanae gave her a blank stare. "And then only after years of misdirection and dancing around each other did you actually kiss."

"So, Hikaru's honesty helped you save a ton of time!" she exclaimed. "You're a serious actress, you don't have time for all of that nonsense!"

Kanae raised an eyebrow. "If you start planning double dates right now, I will break up with him. If you tell President Takarada, I will break up with him so hard he'll never remember we went on a date."

Kyoko balked. "You _wouldn't!"_

Kanae smirked. "Wouldn't I? Or maybe I'd pretend to break up with him and leave you wondering for the rest of your life."

Kyoko fell to her knees in mock shock. "Moko, why?!"

Finally, Kanae stood. "The best actors in the world can live and breath their most important roles, and few things in this world right now are more important than making sure you keep all of your enthusiasm in check."

Kyoko sighed and hung her head in resignation. But, behind the fringe of her hair, she smiled. _Just wait until Ren hears this._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was a good chapter to get back into the swing of things! As always, I won't promise an upload schedule, but I have gotten some other projects under control, and now that I've actually closed the loop on HikaNae I think I can finally start digging into some real heavy stuff.

**Author's Note:**

> Finally posting the start of this fic is my birthday present to myself :) I'm not sure exactly how long it'll be, but I've got ideas about Kyoko goes from promising herself she wouldn't act on her feelings to exploring what all her relationships with Ren could entail ;)


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